Blood-related

Kakak with her sons

There are a lot of people who I missed right now...My siblings: my kakak and my lil Tall brother...

It has been soooooOOooOo Long that we gathered and be together. I think, it was in 2006. And now 3 years had past.

Since Kakak got married, I found that it is difficult to talk to her. Not because of her marriage, but somehow it is how she expressed when I shared with her some of my stories. I think it is because that some of our ideas are not the same. I know that I had changed. I am not as 'good' as the old me. During my past year, I could say that I am quite reserved and 'appeared' innocent. But in IIUM, I discovered my ReaL self. ALhamdulillah.

People think I have changed. But the truth is, this is the real me. The past, is not.

Let me share a bit about my past: After my secondary school years in Singapore, I continued my study in Malaysia. I enrolled to the one of Maahad Tahfiz AlQuran. "Did I typed wrongly?" Nope, you did saw it. Maahad Tahfiz. And of course, I did memorize the whole Quran. At first I think, because I want to...but now I realized, I memorized just for the sake of taking the exams. "Isy...isy...apa ni niat tak betul..." Yeah...I just realized it quite recently. But now, I started to revise my memorization. NOt because I have to, but I WANT to.

Ok, so the environment there is Islamic. for example, there is a board to separate between guys and girls in every classroom. There are no free mingling with the opposite gender. However, with such strict rules, there are still some problems. Of course la...as long as we are human, there will always be problem. But during that time, I never thought of that. Because I am too content with my environmment.

And I am too self-content. I think that I am good, nice, decent...but the truth is, I am not. I went into relationship with guys..I talked about people ad keep thinking that I am a goody-goody girl.

After graduated from that place, I further my study into IIUM. I discovered a lot. I met a lot of nice and fantastic people and learnt a lot of valuable lesson from them.

So can you see the difference?

I am just trying to be normal. Neither too good nor too bad. Just Me.






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