PBS

Assalamualaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh...

Do not destroy it

Fadiah is in the mood to update her blog! wohooooo~

Ok, first of all, Praise be to Allah for all the non-stop blessings, whether it is good or bad, in the end, it is for your OWN good. True story.

I am soooo sad after the break up. Therefore this entry will gonna be a sad entry. NAAAAAH~ it is not gonna be the 'ala-la-la sayang intan payung' kinda sad. But it is gonna be a good one. Trust me. 

So here goes....

I am in the PBS period right now (FYI, it stands for Post Break-up Syndrome). So there might be times when suddenly I will feel sadness all around me. It sounds crazy & sometimes I do feel crazy. But then, I will realize that I learn to cope with myself even better after all the incidents.

O ALLAH, please grant me strength. I am strong. I am strong. I am strong. (This is my regular chant for these past few days.)  

But deep deep down inside, I feel sooooooooooooooooooooooo sad. Thinking of the ungrateful me, who is always forget about the blessings which surround herself. 

Allah, My families, my friends, the Quran, the state of being healthy & alive ----> all those blessings. Are irreplaceble. 

The possibility which kept me thinking about it is because he left without meeting me & explain everything FACE TO FACE. If in a harsh language, people would say "Macam jantan pengecut... Dah bagi harapan, pastu buat mcm gini. Pfffftttt..." After all the future plans, the promises, bla bla bla...and yes, TALK IS CHEAP. Until you DO it, then it will cost more than what money can buy.

Whatever it is, everything happened for a reason. It would be a lie if I say that I do not assume. I DO assumed, but in the end, I know that only Allah knows the REAL reason. 

He did says that he didnt have the feeling for me. He cant be in loved or to be loved. and We are not meant to be together. Oh yeah, bila baca dengan akal yang rasional, fadiah rasa nak ketawa pun ada. If he says about this lovey-dovey thing, I also wanna say that I also do not love him at first. I just want to get to know him. Though, Fadiah contact dia hari-hari, it doesnt mean that I am in love with him. The feelings DEVELOP along the way. And yes it does. But when it just STARTED to develop, he make this decision. Oh well, what else can I say? He made up his mind already...

And if someone would ask me, do I forgive him? Of course I do. Who am I not to forgive him? I also make mistakes and full of weaknesses...

Sabar. Pasrah. Redha. Dan yang sewaktu dengannya. 

"Sabar terkadang hanya perlu seminit dua, terkadang berbulan, dan terkadang hingga kamu mati, perlu terus bersabar..."