Shooting Bullets

Yeah it hurts. A lot. Really. An indescribable pain.

Last saturday, while waiting for my bro to check in for his flight @ the airport, my family members (+ my aunty) suddenly asked me about my job-searching-project. I told them that I just received a job offer as an Ustazah @ Cordova. I told them about the job info, with a happy tone in my voice.

But then, my sister said: "Ko amek pscyhology, and end up jadi ustazah? At the first place, kenapa amek psychology?"

Then I said: "Coz Im interested in human. I want to learn about human."

Then my aunty said: "Apply la keje as social worker ke..."

I answered: "Tapi Diah suka ngajar. I dun wanna b a counsellor."

My ibu said: "Apply la NIE. Jadi teacher @ government skool."

I replied: "But I dont like the system. Lagipun ngajar kat skola stress. I know that every job have their own level of stress. Tapi I dun wanna work in government skool."

My aunty asked: "Then how much do they pay you?"

I asnwered: "Hmmm around SGD..... Tak banyak sgt, tapi ok la..."

My aunty said: "They asked you to work for 6 days & paid you like that?! You have a degree tau. Dont underestimate your capabilities. You can get around SGD1800+ if you work at the NON muslim company. "

I anwered: "Ok, I'll try la."

That is how I ended the conversation. My mind is too weak to handle all those bullets. and I did not prepare for it. bcoz I am too happy to get a job. After all those emails of resume, the stupid interviews, I finally get hired. Alhamdulillah.

But now, the happiness has been covered with bullet holes that was shoot to me through peoples' mouth. I do not blame them as they always have the right to express their opinion.

What I do not understand is that why they COULD NOT even be happy with MY DECISION?

Do they think that I did not understand what life is all about?

Do they really know what I want?

Do they think that they know what is the best for me?

I know that they want the best for me and do not want me to suffer. But I want to try. So if I fall, at least I HAVE ALREADY try.

And I also know that all those 'bullets' are just opinions. After all, it is MY LIFE. I am the one who take the step and make the decision. Therefore, I will be responsible for now on. InsyaAllah.