Money Matters

I had my first Ramadhan's emotional test today...

Went to the Finance early in the morning to collect my financial slip, which I applied last Wednesday....

After received it, I got to know that I had to pay RM7K for the remaining fees!!!

I was surprised...I asked for the clarification, but not too detail. The front desk sister told me that I have not pay the fees for my 1st sem in my second year. Let me repeat it again, in my SECOND YEAR! And now, I have to prove my payment by showing the receipts. And the problem is: I am not the type who will keep receipts!!! Haiz....

Please please pray for me....

What sucks?

I do not know why, but this feeling keeps appearing in my heart...

The feeling of avoiding someone and just get him out of my life...

But I know, avoidance is not the way out....it is not the answer...

And there he goes....aGain....

When you are in a relationship with someone, you will tend to expect more than you usually do...

That's the problem with me....

He is the kind of guy who will come and go in my life....

but when I'm into this relationship with him, I expected him to contact me all the time...

and of course, he will not contact me every day....coz he is himself.

And I am too selfish...always want things to be like what I want...never considered about how he feels...

Stop blaming him, Fadiah!

Mission:Impossible?

Greeting Earthlings! =)

Right now, I'm still stuck in this IIUM planet...Tomorrow, I'm going to another planet named Putrajaya...hehe. I'm going to visit my best ever friend in this planet ---> Nani. Plus, I wanna repeat my Quranic memorization...insyaAllah...

Well, i just finished my final paper last saturday. I am supposed to go back to my home, but still stuck because of this experimental crap. So this is how the story goes:

Last week, I was excited to finish my exams because I joined a program called "Bakti Siswa ke Pelantok". Then on 15th April, which was Wednesday, I received a message, informed that for the petition of Experimental class, there will be a re-check on marks. So we will have to recheck it on our own, according to the rubric that will be produced by the department.

hmmm...I thought of just to let it go, but then this guy adviced me to wait and do the rechecking because it is which will not occur all the time. So i decided to give it a shot. The problem is that: this RUBRIC is not out until now! (the moment I wrote this entry!)

The question is: how long do I have to wait?

So I decided to go to Putrajaya and not to stay in this planet. I like to stay here because I get time for myself...all alone. And I like! When I am alone, I get to do whatever I like and no one is going to order or tell me what to do...it is freedom. However, I do like to be with people. Only sometimes, I need time for myself. Just like now.

I need time to think for the next step of my life. What I'm going to do, how to polish back what I've learnt in life so far...there are a lot of thing to be considered...that is why I need time to be alone...And yes, I agreed with what my lecturer said: Loneliness is solitude...and indeed, it is =)

I decided to go back on the 28th, after I have settled everything...then I will go back...InsyaAllah...

And there is something juicy going on in my life... The mystery guy wanted to meet with me this coming weekend... I still cannot decide whether I want to meet him or not...Haiya! So fickle-minded of me...

And another one more juicy thing: I gave 'the guy' a card for his farewell. In this card, there is a letter which I stated about what I felt towards him (but not that obvious...duh!). And his response: he told me that there are some part which he did not understand. And when I asked him, he did not reply. Haiz....nevermind la...

I was thinking whether to take someone who likes you or someone who you like? hmmm...

A 'Cockroach'iest Day

I gained a new experience today - how to deal with cockroaches.

WHaT?!

COCKroaches? hehe... (notty little me *wink*)

ok ok... it is ----> cockroaches...insects, pests etc....

I neither fear not like them...but today, I had to face them!

So here is the story:

I went out around 1130 am...I went to the Pasar Bulat, to buy some things for Ibu, then head to the interchange to meet bluefairy. She asked me to accompany her for some attire hunting. hehe..then we had our lunch at Ramen Ten....the Food was superbly Delicious!

The new Look of Ramen Ten

Chopsticks and serviette

That's me

Bluefairy

*Mine*

*Hers*

After the lunch, we rushed back to our house because someone will be coming over to repair my home PC. As soon as we reached my housing area, there is a insect fogging going on. Then I went into my house, and straight to my kitchen, and then I saw.....

COCKROACHES!!!!

BIG and small cockroaches!!!!!

All of them walking around my kitchen...so I declare war with them. Without waiting for more to come, I took my weapon -----> the insect repellent spray. YeaY! hehe

I sprayed and sprayed...until I, myself feel suffocated...haha...and here are the result:

Eyeeeew....

And of course, I won the war....MasyaAllah...hehe

It is a new experience for me. The cockroaches appeared because of the insect fogging. They thought that they can survive in my house, but they are wrong! Pity them....

Well, there is a lesson for me though....always remember to close the window properly when leaving the house. *sigh*

Truth - does hurt

Truth. That what people really want, and yet some of them are not able to face it.

Just like me.

Sometimes I do want to know the truth really bad...but when I know it, I had the difficulty to face it especially when it is against me.

However, I will accept it gradually, when I started to think and ponder upon it.

That is the TRUTH.

Just like what I've done towards W.

It is the TRUTH.

Although I knew that it is going to hurt myself, hurt him and others, but it still the TRUTH.

Although I feel bad about it, but I relieved that I had told him the truth.

I would have expected of his reaction, and I deserved that kind of treatment. I realized that I am not perfect, therefore I am trying my hard to make myself better.

I am tired of lying and being a hypocrite.

I just want to be myself.

I want people to accept me as I am.

I realized that when I became closed with W, I am drifted from my true self. Therefore, I decided to tell him the truth and stop all the lies.

I am grateful and happy now.

Thank you, ALLAH...for giving me the strength that I need.

Unspoken Words

Hi peeps...

Today, i went to the airport to send my aunty for the pilgrimage...

Then suddenly i received an SMS from someone i know...

Dyah, do u still used this number?

I was like...DUh!

ok...so i replied: Yup...why,sis?

Then about a minute like that, she called me...and here are the conversation:

"Dyah...you have been deceived!!"

I was like...huh? Then she continued...

"do u know that W hasn't deleted his FB?"

"Are you sure, kak? Coz he told me that he deleted it..."

"No..it is still on..."

"Owh ok la...mayb he restart it again...Later when i get back, i'll check..."

"Or it could be that he lied to you..he said that he deleted it, but he just delete you from his friends' list..."

"Hmmm...im not sure la, kak...nevermind...later, i'll check k..."

"Owh...ok. dats all i wanted to tell you...Salam."

-End of conversation-



After hang up, i was like...how could she called me just to inform me about that?

It was unreasonable, not important, and make me jump to conclusion.

And yes, i did jump to conclusion. I assumed that W really lied to me. Therefore, I smsed him.

if you didnt want to befriend with me anymore, just tell me. Do not lie to me. cause people will talk. And i dont like to hear those talking.

Then he replied,

let them talked. If we did sumthing, they will talk. If we didnt do it, they will also talk. there's no different.

I was soooooo shock after hearing that....Immediately I replied:

Fine. So from this moment, let us get too close with each other. Juz pretend that u didnt know me, and I didnt know you. End of story.

I was so damn surpised. How could he said like that? He did not even stand up for himself. I would expect him to say something else....

Well, after that I shared the story with one of my besties....she adviced me to stay calm and just do whatever I think dat it is right....

Im not sure why such things happened recently? It is like....hello, December...my birthday is near...i wanna be happy...

Mayb it is just a test for me....

yeah, mayb....

After some time after that, I emailed him, apologise for my loud behaviour....and at the same time, I asked him to do me a favour -----> to hate me.

Yes, that is exactly what I've asked him to do.

And the truth is, I do not want him to hate me.

This is me, lying again....