Penjelasan

Assalammualaikum

Tentang luahan perasaan Dyah semalam, Dyah nak semua tahu yang Dyah sama sekali TIDAK menyalahkan W. Malah, dyah bersyukur sangat dapat kawan mcm dia.

Dengan kehadiran dia, Dyah dapat belajar untuk lebih menghargai kawan...

Dengan kehadiran dia, Dyah dapat mengenali kelemahan diri...

Dengan kehadiran dia, Dyah dapat jadi lebih kuat dari yang sebelumnya...

Walaupun kita selalu gaduh...kadang2 tak bertegur-sapa sehari dua...tapi Dyah maseh hargai dia sebagai seorang kawan. Kita pernah kongsi sesuatu.

Apa yang Dyah kongsi semalam, hanyalah sekadar luahan. Dah lepas tu, dah tak simpan apa2 lagi. Walaupun terkilan, tapi Dyah sedia maafkan dia. Sebab Dyah tak suka berdendam. Bukan nak step baik, cuma memang ni DIRI Dyah. Dyah tak pandai nak marah lama2, malas nak dendam2...rasa buang masa je.

Kadang2 tulis pasal benda2 mcm gini pun, rasa tak penting. Sebab perasaan kan. Bila2 masa boleh berubah.

Ok, cukuplah cerita ttg W. kerana dia hanya persinggahan. Semua benda kat dunia ni hanya sementara sbb ni kan tempat persinggahan.

Ada benda yang lebih penting untuk Dyah fikirkan.

Dyah dah banyak sangat buat salah. Dyah tak nak terus buat salah lagi.... Dyah tahu org mesti cakap belakang Dyah sebab Dyah pun kadang2 cakap pasal orang... Biarlah selagi diorang boleh bercakap.... Teruskanlah...

Yang penting dyah tahu apa yang dyah buat. Titik.

Assalammualaikum.

Perasaan Saya

Assalammualaikum

Ok. nak cuba tulis dalam bahasa Melayu. Ayoosh dah cuba. Sekarang giliran dyah pula. Hehe..

Dalam hidup ini, terlalu banyak keputusan yang kita kena buat. Sebab tu kita kena pilih betol2. Tapi kalau org mcm dyah ni, yang selalu berubah2 fikiran, susah sikit la...Dyah mmg tak pandai nak buat keputusan yg penting, tapi Dyah nak cuba jugak. Dyah tak nak berputus asa.

Macam gitu jugak dgn perasaan ni.

Suka kat orang, tapi orang tak suke kat kita. Kadang tu pulak, kita tak suka kat orang, tapi orang suka kat kita. Layan je laaaa. Kadang2 penat nak layan perasaan ni. Dyah bukan nye seorang yang suka layan perasaan, tapi orang selalu ingat Dyah takde perasaan. Kenapa eh?

Dyah kawan dgn W. Baik dengan dia. Tapi kadang2 dia tak faham Dyah. Dyah penah tanya dia, dia anggap Dyah sebagai apa. Dia kata kawan rapat. Tapi macam gini ke kawan?

Bukan ke kawan kena kongsi susah & senang bersama?

Bukan ke kawan kena ada bila kita perlukan seseorang?

Bukan ke kawan kena saling tolong-menolong?

Tapi tu semua Dyah tak rasa bila dengan W. Ini betol-betol, bukan cobaan.

Selalu Dyah je yang dengar masalah dia. Masalah Dyah? Jangan haraplah dia nak tanya. Dyah je yang kadang2 cerita atau minta pendapat dia.

Semua tentang dia. Dia suka perempuan tu, dia stress dengan budak tu, dia ada masalah ni, mcam2 la....Tentang Dyah?

Dyah tak harap dia concern pasal dia. Cuma SEKARANG ni, Dyah baru sedar yang selama ni PERSAHABATAN kita berat sebelah. Dyah tak harapkan balasan dari dia, tapi Dyah cuma nak dia tahu yang Dyah ni manusia. Masih ada perasaan. Masih ada hati.

Kalau sesapa yang baca Blog Dyah ni & kenal dgn W, sila la pesan dgn dia.

Dyah hargai dia sebagai kawan. Dyah tak marah. Dyah tak sedih. Cuma Dyah terkilan.

Kita semua manusia. Setiap perbuatan kita ada batas. Nak jadi baik, ada batas. Nak jadi jahat pun ada batas. Dyah tahu W pun manusia. Ada kelemahan. Dyah akan maafkan kalau itu yg dipinta. Cuma Dyah nak di dengar dan nak DIA tahu.

Cukup lah 2 tahun Dyah lalui. Agaknya sebab tu la antara lelaki & perempuan tak boleh rapat sgt. Mungkin.

Dyah TAK salahkan dia. Sebab apa yang terjadi pada diri Dyah, Dyah yang pilih. Dyah nak dia tahu supaya dia tak akan buat orang lain mcm mana dia buat Dyah.

Dan sekarang ni, keputusan Dyah untuk tinggalkan dia. Walaupun amat berat dan payah, Dyah nak cuba. Sebab....

Dyah dah penat.

Assalammualaikum =)

Percubaan Pertama

Bismillah....

Untuk entry kali ni, nak try type dalam bahasa Melayu pulak... tapi bukan fully Malay ar...bahasa rojak la...hehehe..

Ok, so here the story goes...kita buat some recap sikit k ;)

Friday: Hari yang BEST! Gi HS dalam pukul 11 sebab nak brunch. Sampai je, ramai adek2 yang dah ada kat situ. Diorang sibuk2 nak pre-reg, tgk schedule etc. Al-maklumlah, first year. Teringat masa aku first year dolu2. hehehe... Ok, pastu gi class kul 12, dengan harapan akan dapat balik semula mid-term. Tapi hampeh! Tak tahu nape. Lecturer tak cakap pun. Huhu. Cuma yg penting, ada presentation & pengumuman yang class pada Selasa pagi, akan ditukarkan pada Isnin Malam. OH NO!!!! Aku paling tak suka class malam. but what to do....REdha jer la...OK, Pas class, contact Nuya sebab nak practice drive. Then nuya kata, dia amek aku pas solat Jumaat. sO aku pegi la masjid dulu untuk bersolat Jumaat. Lepas solat, aku dapat main2 drive dgn Nuya, Sakinah & Loy. Best sangat2! Aku dah suka & tak takot lagi untuk drive. ALhamdulillah =) Practice sampai petang. Then malam tu, Bluefairy & MooN datang bilik aku. Kita buat sesi Kara-OK gila2. Hahaha...mmg best untuk nak menghilangkan stress.


Saturday: Turun HS dalam pukul 1045am dengan Sarah. Jumpa MOon & EDa. Bebual2 kejap. Then jumpa Bluefairy & Asier. Farhan pun sampai. BEbual2 jap, pastu diorang nak kuar. Tinggallah aku dgn Farhan je. Pastu, Farhan nak gi amek robe untuk kak Sarah, so tinggal lah aku sorang dgn barang2. hehe. Masa tgh duduk sorang, jumpa OpeL, Fasihah & Shitah. Ramai nye orang yang aku jumpa niari. Hepinyeeeee. Hehehe.

Dalam pukul 1230+, W datang sbb nak amek muvee dari aku. Mula2 tu, dia kata malas nak datang sbb hari tu hujan. Dia malas nak bangun. Abeh, lepas aku dah marah2 dia, dia datang jugak. sbb aku dah penat2 bawak laptop, abeh senang2 je nak cancel. Haiyo...ingat aku ni apa? Nak tak nak, dia kena la turun jugak walaupun lambat. Hehehe. Nasib baik aku lama jugak kat HS.

Bila dia dah sampai, semangat nak tunjuk aku video2 bola yang dia save. Aku pun layan je. Memang best ar. Skill diorg SUPERB! Kalah pemain2 yg professional ;) Kita duduk lama jugak. Lepas zohor tu, aku jumpa Megat & Shady. W pun ada jugak. Tapi kita bebual tanpa menghiraukan dia yang duduk disebelah aku...Hahaha. cian dia But, who cares? Dia pun tak kisah...hehehe. Tapi bila dia dah boring, dia pun decide untuk membawa dirinya keluar. Hehe. Aku teruskan perbualan aku dgn shady & Megat. Best Lah!! Dah lama tak jumpa, so macam2 cerita keluar. hehehe. Dalam pukul 3 gitu, aku alek. Megat hantar sampai Mahallah. weeee~

Lepas asar, keluar Lagi =D. Berangkat dari UIA dgn Hyni, Nuya & Zimah. Jumpa Bluefairy & ASier. Pegi Times Square. Masa OTW tu, Dyat sms. Aku ajak dia join kita. Then dia pun kata Ok. Kita gi makan kat Secret REcipe. Then half way tu, Dyat sampai. Dia blanja kita!!! Wuhooooo~
Hepi tak terkata. Kalau tahu dia nak belanja, aku order yang mahal2 sey Hehehe.
Lepas makan tu, gi solat & main bowling. AKu tak main sbb Bowling is not my thing, so jadi observer je la. Aku dapat beli satu baju. heeeee~ Overall of the outing, BEST!

Sunday: Pagi2 lagi dah keluar untuk nak support budak2 main netball. Game habis dalam pukul 12 lebih. Kita pegi lunch kat HS. Then balek, tido jap. Dlm pukul 3+ gitu, Light datang bilik. Share2 story & tgk VMA. Kekek sey ketawa. Mepek betol. Dia stay sampai maghrib. Then, lepas tu, aku sambung tgk muvee. muvee marathon habis ar. Nak habiskan muvee2 dalam lappy ni, jadi boleh delete. heeee~


OK, enough of the recap.

Lately ni kan, aku rasa aku ada potensi untuk jadi Ahli Pemikir Negara la. hehehe. Selalu memikirkan benda2 yang tak penting (ada jugaklah yg penting). Kadang2 tak nak fikir, tapi tak dapat nak elak. So, aku nak try control la.


Owh one more thing, I think my feelings towards someone have changed. I DO realize that he is my bestfriend, but I can't help falling for him. However, from days to days, this feeling keep fading and I soon realized that I am coming back to like him as my bestfriend! Weeee~ I am happy with these feelings transition of mine ;) I will not have to think on ways of how to express my true feelings for him. YeaY! And indeed, feelings are not permanently static. It can be change through time and experience. However, the TRUE original feelings will always remain the same. Just like this feeling of mine. A bestfriend will always remain a BESTFRIEND x)

AlaMaaaaaaaaaaaK...mana Melayu aku? Haiz....

My Last Iftar

It was Thursday.

Before go to my class, I pass by HS. Then, there he was, sitting by himself with his lappy. At first, I thought I did not want to talk to him, but then, I decided to greet him.

"Hye W..."

"Eh Fadiah...ko nak gi mana?"

"Aku ada class jap lagi..."

"Owh ok..."

"Ko sorang je?"

"A'ah la..."

"K la, nak gi class..."


Later, I received sms from him during class.

W: Ko nampak lain ar skrg. Dah makin lawa.

I: Pe sey. eh, ko lama tak kat HS? Ingat nak lepak ar pas class.

W: Boleh ar. Aku pun dah lama tak lepak dgn ko.

I: K, c u after class.



After class, I went to HS. There he was again. I sat in front of him.

"Fadiah, ko slalu buka katne?"

"Kat bilik ar...nape?"

"Jom la buka kat HS ptg ni. Dah lama tak buka dgn ko..."

"Alahh...malas ar. HEheh...eh, tapi boleh la. Petang nanti confirm kan lagi k..."

"OK..."


He confirmed with me. I also received messages from my adek2, asking me to join them for iftar. And I said YES.

And later that evening, we met up around 645. The moment I reached HS, it was already fully booked by which-ever-society it is...He was not there yet. I reached for my phone, thought of calling texting him...but then, there he was. The moment he arrived, my adek2 also came. His adek was also there. And some of them were surprised to see him with me. Whatever.

Finally, we settled at Basbussa (above HS)and altogether, there were 13 of us. All of them were juniors, except for me & W. hehe.. We talked and talked. W make a lot of jokes, kept me smile all the way.

There is one time which he told me that "Fadiah, aku sengaja ajak ko buka arini supaya bila last day ko iftar kat UIA, ko dgn aku..."

OK...wait. Stop there.

Betul ke apa yang aku dengar? and I just smiled =)

I had a lot of fun that evening. My adek2 was fun. They make me smile, make me laugh. As for W, he was indeed nice. I was like questioning and mula perasan yang bukan2, but then say this to myself: He just want to show his appreciation.

What a Memory!

Hope

Just came back from the Jumuaah prayer...

It's have been a looong time since I do congregational prayer...Usually I did the prayer alone, in my room because I am too lazy to go to the mosque...hehe

But today, I got to do it. YeaY! ;)

And I did something today...

I gave W a letter!

Alah-alah love letter gitu... HAHAHA... Yeah rite! No laaa...just a normal letter. The idea appeared out of my boredom these few days. hehe

And the content of the letter?

HaaaaH...dats only between me & him. hehe

Ponder

I am supposed to go out rite now, but am lazy coz I slept late yesterday. I could not sleep because I slept a lot during the day. And this morning, I was waken up by Sarah.

She woke me up bcoz one of the Dr. (which we volunteered to help with her research) called her and asked her to forward info of the missing PAPER. Let us rewind a bit....

PREVIOUSLY: There is this one Dr. who asked for our help to get info for her research. Sarah, W and me decided to help. One day, we met her and handed her the info on a piece of PAPER. And at the same time, W help out by asking his parent for some info.

NOW: So she LOST the PAPER. Ok fine! Then she called Sarah and asked her to forward her the info, which of course, I did NOT make any copy of it. Then I remember that W said his parent already email him the info. Then I decided to call W. And it was 7+ in the MORNING. I was pissed off a little, but never mind. And as I expected, W still asleep. I called him for several time and luckily he called me back on the _ _ th (which I cannot recall) time. After he help us out, I try to get back to sleep, but cannot. Texted with W until he ignore me. Well...thats it!

Now let us do some pondering...

Why are certain things are hard to get, while others are easy?

Hmmm...I think, it is for the purpose to teach us on how to be thankful and appreciate things more... This is because, when we get things through hardship, we will tend to appreciate it more, than those that are easy to get....

For example in my situation it is: marriage. I really want to get married, but somehow there are no one for me could look upon to. However, I will not give up and will continue my search. It is true that the person will come to you, but you still have to try. And for now, I did not befriend with any guys, except for W (coz he is my bestman). W scolded me for not making friend with guys....Well, I have my own reason and that is I am saving myself from falling into the wrong guy.

I know myself well. I am the kind who will fall easily for someone who is close to me (except for W coz there are many reasons). The previous relationships I had are enough to teach me what my mistakes are. I want to keep a safer gap between me and my guyfriends.

And recently, I did something which I was not suppossed to do with W!!!!!

We did something together and then, out of my stupidity, I told him that I feel like I wanna to ask his hand for marriage! WTH...There, you see....I cannot get too close with any guys. ANd luckily that W did not take it seriously (well, I did not sound serious, of course!). He laughed and said that I am funny. YEaH...you damn right, W! Thanks for not taking it seriously....

And the question now is, am I not that serious?

Well, from the deepest of my heart, I do feel a little bit of attraction towards W. It is impossible for two souls, from opposite gender, who are INTIMATE and having no feeling at all. I admit that I do have feelings for him, but not to the extent of wanting him to be my husband. NO!

Another question is: What if He is the ONe?

If that is the case, then I will have to think about it first. If he is mature enough, he will know exactly what to do. I do not want to say or ask for much bcoz I trust him. I do have faith in him but I do not have high expectation on him. I do want to burden him. He is my first and only bestman in this world. I appreciate him sooooo much that I do not him to get hurt.

Thank ALLAH for letting me to know him...

----------------
Now playing: Dayang Nurfaizah - Erti Hidup
via FoxyTunes

AuGusTo

HOLa Peeps!!!

Como estas? (How are you?)
Espero que estén multa (Hope you're fine)

I'm currently into the sPanish mood...heeee~

Donno why but I'm just interested in this language... Wish that I could learn it...but not now... I gotta lotsa things to do right now...

I'll be having a lot of events next week. The Singapore National Day fall this Sunday. Did not care to go back and did not bother to go back. I am too lazy to travel around. Hehehe

There will be 3 important programmes next week:
(1) The National Day Dinner @ Shangri La - 10th Aug
(2) The National Day Celebration - 11th Aug
(3) The UQS Programme - 12th Aug

And I am looking forward to all of them...Weeee~

Oh yeah, and today, I had a grrrrreat day at my uni. I went out for awhile - to withdraw some cash. Went out with W. Had a great time with him. Wish that I have more time to spent in this uni. Hmmmm.....

Looking for Love

Indeed, Life is full of surprises and unexpected things.

Now, I'm in my room...aLone... All my roomies have their own work and lucky me coz the internet connection is gOOd! weeee~

What did I do today?

Well....I done my FIRST group presentation for this semester. Alhamdulillah...and all went well. I was soooo relieved. And it is the first time in my life that I received praises for my presentation. All was prepared at the last minute though. And lucky us, because the lecturer is a nice guy and the topic is easy to understand. We did some interaction with the students by giving them some task - which is a role play - and it was done pretty well =) I was surprised with the cooperation that was given.

After class, I went back to do some laundry. Then received sms from Nuya, asked me to accompany her to OTK. To fulfill my boredom, I decided to accompany her. She bought the sticker 'P' for the license. Then we went to KFC to fill in our empty stomach. While eating, suddenly Nuya said "Eh, tu your kakak kan?" I looked and said "Yup...Jom jumpa dia..."
Luckily we had finished our meal. We went to meet with my sister, who with her second son. About a minute later, her husband and her first son came. We were like talking and exchanging stories. It was lucky and grateful to get the chance to meet her. This is because, ever since she worked, it was very hard to get her. I know that I could give her a call, but sometimes I'd rather sms her instead. I did not want to disturb her. really.

Then we went back. And in the bus, I sat beside a lady who talked with herself. It was scary, man! I recited all the prayers inside my heart and prayed for her to go down as soon as possible. While I was saying prayers in my heart, suddenly she touched me and asked "Beli apa tu?" I smiled ( + control my fear) and answered " Roti je..." It was like........reeeeally scary...huhu
For like a couple of hours like that, she asked me. What was she thinking before that? Hmmmm...

We reached the hostel around 7pm. Then decided to go to Jannah's room, to surprise her. When we arrived, she was not in her room. We used the opportunity to hide and the moment she came into her room, she was soooooo surprised to see us! Hehehe....


Ok...that's all for what happened for today. and right now, I got new mission in life: To Look for my other half. hehe...

And this time, it is FOR REAL. No more bluffing. No more jokes. No more beating around the bush.

Oh yeah, I just remembered. Last wednesday, I had a wonderful time with W.

The moment I met him, he said: "Fadiah, hari ni aku optimistic. Aku rasa aku akan jumpa jodoh aku hari ni." HAHAHA...I was amazed with his jokes. (I just had this feeling that it was a joke, although he do sounds serious). I had to use my lappy that time, so I find a table which has the plug connection near it.

Then he said "AKu rasa jodoh aku akan duduk kat tempat tu..." and he pointed an empty seat, in front of him, but on the table in front of us.

I smiled and said "Ok...kalau gitu, kita main game nak? Kalau budak yang duduk kat tempat tu, ko kenal, ko kena rapat dengan dia...Tapi kalau ko tak kenal, ko kena minta no h/p dia....ok?"

He replied "Ok...." with hesitation though. Hahaha. Then we wait and wait. Suddenly, there is this girl, wearing blouse and trousers, with haversack and glasses, came. She stood beside the empty chair, talking to her friend.

We waited and expected her to sit there. "Kalau dia duduk, habis la W..." I said that in my heart. Hehehe.... And lucky him coz she did not sit there.

About several minutes later, came a girl, wearing pink baju kurung and black scarf. She took her bag, which sat on the empty seat, then she sat down. I and W looked at one another. and immediately I said to him: "Ok W....you gotta ask her phone number..."

W looked at me and said "Alah fadiah....Tak nak la.... Dia mesti dah ade boyfriend nye..."

I was like "WTF ar ko ni! Mana boleh sey....tadi kan dah janji...Lagipun ko yang kata jodoh ko duduk pat situ..."

He replied "Hehehe...ok lah. Kalau gitu, dia jadi JTJ aku..."

I asked (looking confusing) "JTJ?"

He said "Jodoh Tak JAdi....!" and he laughed...I also laughed and we laughed so hard till tears came out from my eyes!

There were also a part where I found out that he got feelings for me. Hehehe. It goes like this:

He asked me to check his email for him. He gave his password, which is the name of the girl who he had relationship once. Then he told me that he will always use their name as his password. He said to himself "Nama ko ada tak eh?" while thinking....

I overheard him and immediately asked him "Ko penah suka aku ke?"

He blushed and tried to cover himself "Mana ada sey..." He changed the topic to something else.
He treated me during lunch time. We shared stories, jokes, opinions etc. It was like the best day ever with him. What a day! Thank you, W ;)

best ever!

Lately, my feelings are changing...sometimes I felt sooo low that I can't even decide what I wanna do with my life...and sometimes I felt sooo great till I find that everything in this world is wonderful...

I thought that I could be strong by myself, but I can't. I still need my GOD and some friends to help me go through with my life....

And again, I cannot lie to myself. He is always there for me, although not most of the time. But he is there. My wingman aka bestfriend----> W.

He might not notice how much I appreciate him, because I've never ever expressed my true feeling towards him. He is all I need for this time being. Always be with me, try to understand me, be patient with my stupid questions and the unpredictable behaviour... He is so kind to me, in a sense that he never scold or get angry with me. I was amazed with his kindness. He will advised me and supported me whenever I need it. He will always cover for all my flaws and always try not to hurt me. Wonderful isn't it?

RizQ

When one doors closed, another door will open for you....that is rizQ...

This morning, I received an sms from IIUM...stating about a job offer...I called them back and got to know that they want it as soon as possible....

I was like...WTH...so I just pass it...

They want it quick and I was having my holidays in S'pore + teaching my aunt + attending some weddings...and why in the world should I go back to IIUM? just for the matter of this job? It is not worth at all...

After the conversation, I called W...just to share with him the story...

At first, he was surprised to receive call from me...It was unexpected...hehe
Then I shared with him about the job offer...and he said: "Alah fadiah...ko keja dgn aku sudah..."

Hahaha...I had a great laugh with him. Did not talk much. He was too excited to get a chance to talk with me. hehe.

Well, it seems that it is going to be hard for me to leave him...Haiz...

A Secret Lesson

When we meet someone new, there will always be something that we could learn from them.

And yes, I did learnt a loooooooT from every guy that I know...and the thing that I learnt is that LESSONS ABOUT GUYS.

And this lesson are not being teach in any schools...but it is being learnt in life...

Things that I grabbed from some of my guyfrens are as listed:

W: Do not trust guy easily - It is hard for guys to express what they really feel - MOST guys like girls based on their looks (not all, but mostly) - They are unpredictable - their EGO is their bestfriend *winks* - Girls will go for guys who got cash and career (REaLLy?)

M: When the man is not honest with you, just forget him - They will always try to win your heart but never know how to treasure it

Based on what I had learnt, I managed to get alot from W rather than M....Mayb because W is my wingman, while M is just someone who I fell with once upon a time ago... And I admit that I am much more close to W than M....and I think that is why M decided to let me go after I shared some stories about W....hmmm...well that is a mistake which I really learnt!

And yes...

...he was there for me =) (plus YOu...you know who you are *winks*)

People would always say that friend in need is a friend indeed...however, sometimes we just need someone that is right and at the right place.

When one people gone, another will come to us. As for that someone, W, was there for me last night. Listening to the unfortunate story of mine... then slowly he gave me some advices...

"Always learn from mistakes, Fadiah... Whatever had happened are the past. You must face your phobia so that you will know whether you still had that phobia or not...."

And yes, it is true.

About the other guy, he was silent as usual. I gave him my last sms yesterday. I apologized to him for all my wrong-doings and I tell him that I will not disturb him anymore. And that's it.

Things are just soooo vague between us. It is just impossible to continue something which are clearly unclear...I've tried my best. and yes...It's time to move on...

Yesterday...

Konnichiwa peeps...

This entry will be about what had happened yesterday...

A friend is a friend after all....

Yeah...and I found that it is true...

Even if you fall for that person, who is a friend to you...you will find that he/she is a friend after all...

Yesterday was quite a hectic day for me...

Woke up early, went to classes, had 2 meetings...and something happened...

The same old, stupid thing....

The QuarreL.... that unspoken Fight...

For many and many time, we had several misunderstandings and yet, we never spoke about it...

It was so DAMN tired to pretend that nothing ever happen between us...

Im SICK and TIRED of this no-named game...

In the state of pretending and just let things go off easily....

Are there people who let things off easily, without reflecting on them?

And yes, there are. Those are IGNORANTs. And I do not want to become any of them. NO.

So I want to have a nice talk with YOU (you know who you are) and clears things out.

So that I will not hold any grudges on you and in order to purify my heart, I must do this.

O ALLAH, please give me patience and honesty....

Up uP and aWaaay....!

Salam Sejahtera Peeps!

Celebrating the new year was not even include in my yearly activity... While trillion of people busy with the countdown, I was having a gooood night sleep on my comfy mattress..

The coming of new year is not a big deal for me, because I dont believe in such 'New Year Revolution'...if YOU wanna change, YOU Can change anytime, baby! Hehe...

The most important thing is to TALK LESS & ACT MORE...yeah!

So...wats up with my life....

HmmmmMMMmmm...let me see....

This morning, I had a so-called date (haha..not date lar...) with W...weee~

We met up in the HS canteen and he helped me to finish my subtitle-editing-work... I had force him to learn on how to edit the subtitle...Haha...the cruel side of me....

We sat there and finished the work till 2pm... We (not we,actually...just him...haha) managed to finish the task... Alhamdulillah...


Last Friday, we went out with some of the new intake students...actually, not some...but only two only who managed to join us...hehe

We went to Ampang for some bowling...then fill in our stomach with some delicious food of MaLinja...Yum yum yumMy! hehe...We had a short race on our way back to IIUM...These are some of pics during that day. EnjooooOOoooY!


Fresh faces:

Zeid, BLuefairy & Saidah

Hajar & Hidayah

@ AmpanG BoWL...

@ MaLinJa...


It was a great day and had fun with all of them. I really had my night during that day. I talked and talked without fail. hahaha. And some of the guys are pissed of me. Hahaha. ignore them.

So, wats now?

- Got a group discussion tonite
- There will be a programme on Tuesday ---->first prog of ASSIIUM for this semester.
- Have to finish the ASSIIUMedia project... (Arrrrgggghhhhh.....)

OK...i think dats all for now. Have to go back to my room & perform my Asr prayer...Toodle looo...

Truth - does hurt

Truth. That what people really want, and yet some of them are not able to face it.

Just like me.

Sometimes I do want to know the truth really bad...but when I know it, I had the difficulty to face it especially when it is against me.

However, I will accept it gradually, when I started to think and ponder upon it.

That is the TRUTH.

Just like what I've done towards W.

It is the TRUTH.

Although I knew that it is going to hurt myself, hurt him and others, but it still the TRUTH.

Although I feel bad about it, but I relieved that I had told him the truth.

I would have expected of his reaction, and I deserved that kind of treatment. I realized that I am not perfect, therefore I am trying my hard to make myself better.

I am tired of lying and being a hypocrite.

I just want to be myself.

I want people to accept me as I am.

I realized that when I became closed with W, I am drifted from my true self. Therefore, I decided to tell him the truth and stop all the lies.

I am grateful and happy now.

Thank you, ALLAH...for giving me the strength that I need.

Unspoken Words

Hi peeps...

Today, i went to the airport to send my aunty for the pilgrimage...

Then suddenly i received an SMS from someone i know...

Dyah, do u still used this number?

I was like...DUh!

ok...so i replied: Yup...why,sis?

Then about a minute like that, she called me...and here are the conversation:

"Dyah...you have been deceived!!"

I was like...huh? Then she continued...

"do u know that W hasn't deleted his FB?"

"Are you sure, kak? Coz he told me that he deleted it..."

"No..it is still on..."

"Owh ok la...mayb he restart it again...Later when i get back, i'll check..."

"Or it could be that he lied to you..he said that he deleted it, but he just delete you from his friends' list..."

"Hmmm...im not sure la, kak...nevermind...later, i'll check k..."

"Owh...ok. dats all i wanted to tell you...Salam."

-End of conversation-



After hang up, i was like...how could she called me just to inform me about that?

It was unreasonable, not important, and make me jump to conclusion.

And yes, i did jump to conclusion. I assumed that W really lied to me. Therefore, I smsed him.

if you didnt want to befriend with me anymore, just tell me. Do not lie to me. cause people will talk. And i dont like to hear those talking.

Then he replied,

let them talked. If we did sumthing, they will talk. If we didnt do it, they will also talk. there's no different.

I was soooooo shock after hearing that....Immediately I replied:

Fine. So from this moment, let us get too close with each other. Juz pretend that u didnt know me, and I didnt know you. End of story.

I was so damn surpised. How could he said like that? He did not even stand up for himself. I would expect him to say something else....

Well, after that I shared the story with one of my besties....she adviced me to stay calm and just do whatever I think dat it is right....

Im not sure why such things happened recently? It is like....hello, December...my birthday is near...i wanna be happy...

Mayb it is just a test for me....

yeah, mayb....

After some time after that, I emailed him, apologise for my loud behaviour....and at the same time, I asked him to do me a favour -----> to hate me.

Yes, that is exactly what I've asked him to do.

And the truth is, I do not want him to hate me.

This is me, lying again....

Counting Stars

I can't sleep....

I am so worried that I have trouble when it comes to sleep...

Right now, staring at the monitor...

I dont know what to write...

Aha...!

I know!

I will share with you some of my life stories...

Ok, this story is about my bestfriend, W...

I got to know him in Dec 2007...but that time, we are just normal friend. no sharing secrets and stories. no hanging out. just a normal, usual friendship.

By early 2008, we became close and start to share stories, secrets, gossips, ideas etc. It was fun having bestfriend of the opposite gender. I learned a lot from him and im so grateful that I met him.

However, we had a terrible fight recently. This is because of my-big-and-loud-mouth. I said something which had caused changes in our friendship...

I asked him this stupid-not-supposed-to-ask-question:
"Do you think that you are using me when I am closed to you?"

AND for sure, he is Furiously MaD. and starting from that very moment, I knew that he did not trust me anymore...

I am sooooo upset and blame it on myself. Until now....

What should I do in order to make up to him?

Do you have any suggestions?

I like him as my bestfriend and I dont wanna lose him. But I did such a terrible mistake....

Me and my big mouth *sigh*