A surprise

Assalamualaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh...

It has been sooooo long I have not update this blog. My last post was in September 2013. After that, I was occupied with assignments and works. 

And now, Alhamdlillah....All the assignments are finished and time to pause for work. ^^

Sooooo...along the way of my busy life, suddenly there is a little surprise for me. 

I met and got to know with this guy. He was introduced by my colleague, who was also my former schoolmate. She asked me: "Fadiah, aku ada seorang abang sedara yang tengah carik calon isteri. Kau nak kenal dengan dia tak?" 

Then I told her: "Boleh la. Kau suruh dia add aku kat FB." 

Several minutes later, I received a notification of someone requesting to be my friend on FB! Hehehehe

Okay...that was fast. 

However, we did not start to chat immediately. Several days later, he send me some messages and from there, started our conversation. 

Several week after that, he proposed to me. 

I was surprised. There were a lot of questions in my mind. I asked his permission to think about it. He said okay. 

So....I thought about it.

One day.

Two days.

Three days.

Four days.

Five days.

I replied his message, and said "Yes." ^^

That happened in late September. 

And now, tadaaaaaaaa~ (look at the picture)

That moment ^^

We got engaged! Alhamdulilah~

When I recalled back on how I got to know him and all those surprising moments, it is unbelievable. 

If anyone would ask me, did I expect all these to happen. No, I did not expect any of these to happen. 

For all these blessings, Alhamdulillah.

I am truly grateful that I could not find any word to describe how I feel. 

For those who are still finding their other half, do not worry & enjoy your singlehood. The right man will come at the right time. InsyaAllah...

Do remember me in your prayer ya...!

May Allah bless ^^

Sorry

I'm sorry,
And I know sorry is not enough, but I'm sorry it's all I have 
And I'm sorry I can't speak on behalf of anyone but the man that I am 
I'm sorry for my failures, my inadequacies which unfortunately I do not always see
Because I have this bad habit of speaking before my tongue asks my brain to proceed

So please forgive me; I will make mistakes until the day I cease to breathe 
And you will find many more if you make it your mission to seek 
So please don't hold them against me, instead make excuses for me 
And if you see something wrong in me, then please advise me privately 

I am nowhere near perfect; in fact I am perfectly incomplete
Inconsistence with my purpose, carrying my own worth of bad deeds 
I used to be in love with conflicts, ready for anyone to step to me
Had an attitude of ingratitude, a straight rude boy recipe 
You could catch me on the corner, posted up being deceived 
I wanted to be a bad boy, until I saw bad men deceased 

Rest in Peace, to my ego every time I put my head to the floor 
In complete humiliation, I seek salvation from the most Forgiving Lord 
I'm sorry to my mother, who I sometimes wouldn't kiss 
Days and weeks would pass by and I wouldn't even remember this gift
Of life she sacrificed, stretch marks and teeth bites
Grey hairs, over the years just to see things aint black and white 

But such is life; my father went to war twice
Once back home and the other time to get me out the street life 
Stand and Salute, thug life, soldiers in a never ending fight 
Costing casualties of coloured boys like toys chasing this worldly life 

Now I'm sorry to see mothers in the masjid begging the Imam to intercede 
Her baby has become a monster, treating her like a slave
Please brother talk to my son, but sister I don't know what to say
To a man who doesn't respect his own mother; these are signs of the final day, 

What a shame, I'm sorry to say, most of our youth have no reasons to complain 
Because while their dying for the latest styles, some people are dying for another day
But we could have been they, and they could have been in our place 
Can't you see Allah is testing everyone, from the scales we can't escape

So why is it that we are too scared to give for His sake? 
It's like we don't believe in the promise of Allah, even though He gives and He takes 
We collect interest for dunya homes like we have no interest in Jannah's gates 
And we can debate until were blue in the face but just look at this ummah's state 

I'm sorry, to my sisters in Burma, we were unable to come to your aid, 
They told us you were tied up and gang raped but we were too busy watching commercial breaks 
Reality TV has got nothing on the reality that they see
Palestinian children throwing full grown rocks in 3D

I'm sorry that we are weak, unable able to even speak 
And I'm truly sorry about what happen on 9/11 but it had absolutely nothing to do with me, 
That Islam you see on TV does not represent me 
I'm too busy waging jihad against myself; my own nafs are my enemy, 

I'm sorry that Muslims and Muslim lands do not represent Islam, 
This religion is perfect, but we on the other hand...
I'm sorry for pointing fingers, I forgot the rest were pointing back at me
I'm sorry that I look for the same faults in you, the same way I told you to not look for in me 

I'm sorry to anybody who has ever looked for inspiration through me
I'm a sinner and a fraud; only Allah knows about my deeds 
If sins had an odour I doubt any of you would come next to me?
On the contrary you would flee, so please forgive me 

My bad, I know some of you don't agree with how I move
Maybe this poetry thing ain't for you, and if it's not hey that's cool
Just don't speak ill of me whilst I'm not in the room 
Because I don't mind taking your good deeds if they don't mean that much to you

I promise you it's the truth, so please forgive me in advance 
Ya Allah I know I have wronged myself but please give me another chance 
And for anyone I have abused grant them ease to all their sorrows 
Because if we can't even forgive each other today, how can we expect to be forgiven tomorrow? 

You know sometimes I wonder, about Joseph and his brothers 
The amount of pain they put him through, all the years he had to suffer 
But look at this man, Yusuf Alahi Salam, 
What did he say when their places had changed, "No blame on you this day" 

SubhanAllah, could any of us ever do the same 
Forgiving is not forgetting, it's just letting go of the pain
We hold grudges like guns, always quick to aim 
And blame everybody else, but what difference does it make 

Because nothing will change until we decide to change 
The condition of ourselves, regardless of who's to blame 
So forgive me if I'm late, but let me be the first to say 
I'm sorry, and may Allah forgive us all for our shortcoming and our mistakes. Ameen

Kembali

Assalamualaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh

"Hidup tidak selalunya indah,

Langit tak selalu cerah,

Suram malam tak berbintang,

Itulah lukisan alam.

Begitu aturan Tuhan." 

~Lukisan Alam : Hijjaz ~

Hidup ini penuh dengan pengalaman. Yang pahit & manis. Dan baru-baru ini, Fadiah terjatuh lagi. Kali ini akibat dari kelemahan diri sendiri.

Memang impact kali ni terasa sangat, seolah-olah macam separuh nyawa tu nak tercabut...tapi bila letak tangan pada dada, terasa degupan jantung....Hati pon berbisik syukur..."Alhamdulillah, maseh hidup lagi."

Fadiah tanak panggil peristiwa itu kesilapan, tetapi ianya merupakan pengalaman yang cukup berharga. Ia membuatkan Fadiah sedar akan kebesaran Allah S.W.T. 

Allah pertemukan Fadiah dengan hambaNya itu supaya Fadiah dapat belajar sesuatu. Belajar mengenali diri & tidak sentiasa sombong. Ya, Memang kadang2 diri ni terasa sombong.. Astaghfirullahal 'azim...

Apa yang Fadiah belajar dari peristiwa itu:

- sentiasa bersangka baik dengan orang

- jangan menilai orang dari masa silamnya

- kepercayaan itu hanyalah pada Allah 

- istikharah sebelum membuat sebarang keputusan

- sentiasa jaga hubungan dengan Allah

Memang tipu lah kalau kata yang fadiah tak sedih. Sedih. tapi kesedihan itu disandarkan pada Allah supaya Allah gantikannya dengan ketenangan. 

Doakan fadiah ye, kawan-kawan :)

  

Belakang Tabir

Dari belakang tabir

Aku melihat

Penyanyi itu berdendang

Dengan suaranya yang lunak

Dari belakang tabir

Aku memandang

Mimik-mimik muka yang berbeza

Dari pelakon-pelakon handalan

Yang berada di atas pentas

Dari belakang tabir

Aku melihat

Dan aku belajar

Bila disuruh menurunkan tirai

Segera aku turunkan

Terlari-lari menyusun prop

Bagi babak yang seterusnya

Aku belajar erti kesabaran

Bila terdengar suara sumbang mengatakan

"Engkau belakang tabir aje,

Tak payahlah orang kenal."

Aku tersenyum

Kerana dengan ayat sebegitu

Aku jadi semakin kuat

Biarlah orang tidak sedar

Akan kehadiranku

Biarlah orang tidak faham

Perasaanku

Kerana apa yang penting

Allah sentiasa faham

Allah ada.

Believe

Assalamualaikum....

I believe,

Everything happens for a reason.

Doing good things are always worthy.

Everyone has their own test and happiness.

Life is fair. Some people not.

Allah is Most Powerful. 

Geng Kaki Jalan

Assalamualaikum...

Kali ini Fadiah nak cerita tentang Geng baru Fadiah. Tapi sebelum tu, kita citer pasal jalan-jalan dulu...

Ye, Fadiah ni memang kaki jalan. Bukan saja kaki ni diciptakan untuk jalan. Tetapi memang kaki ni suka sangat jalan, atau dalam erti kata lain, suka melancong, terbang ke luar negara, makan angin, makan awan...nasib baik bukan makan asap. Opppsss..tu dah jadi cerita lain pulak. 

Masa kecik-kecik dulu, bila time zaman skola makan, ada orang tanya, Fadiah dah besar nak buat apa....

Fadiah kata, Fadiah nak 'travel the whole world'. Fadiah nak pegi semua negara yang ada dalam dunia ni. Kalau boleh, nak pegi ke angkasa jugak. Tapi angkasa tu macam tinggi sangat. So kita berpijak di bumi yang nyata dulu. 

Masa kecik-kecik jugak, Fadiah dah pegi jelajah banyak negeri di Malaysia, seperti Pulau Langkawi, Pulau Tioman, Penang, Terengganu & Cameron Highland. 

Masa pon berlalu. Diri ni pon membesar (walaupon takde la besar sangat..hehehe). Usia pon semakin meningkat. Cita-cita yang masa zaman skola makan tu dilupakan. Bukan sengaja. Tapi memang betol2 tak ingat.

So, bila dapat peluang belajar ke Malaysia, Fadiah rasa gembira sangat. Fadiah tak tahu nape rasa gembira. Gembira macam seekor burung yang dapat tahu yang ia boleh terbang. Gembira macam rasa dapat pergi ke angkasa. 

Dan yang pelik lagi, Fadiah tak nangis langsung. Yela, kalau selalu kan, bila pertama kali berpisah dengan mak ayah, berjauhan dari bantal busuk, kita mesti rasa sedih. Tapi Fadiah tak rasa tu semua. Fadiah lebih excited sebab dapat kawan-kawan baru, dapat bilik baru & yang paling best, suasana baru. Lain dari yang lain. 

Masa kat Melaka tu jugak la, Fadiah timba macam-macam pengalaman. Pengalaman mandi sungai, bagi makan lembu, panjat pokok & petik buah manggis (aku ni lelaki atau perempuan? hahahah). Pastu tdo dlm keadaan blackout, guna lilin aje. Baik peeeee~  

Then jalan-jalan pegi tido rumah kawan, rumah mak angkat, rumah nenek angkat. Nasib baiklah rumah tu tak boleh di angkat. 

Pendek kata, memang jarang balek Singapore sebab tak ramai kawan Singapore. Budak Singapore yang ada kat situ cuma 7 orang aje. Yang sama batch dengan Fadiah cuma 3 orang. So kita semua memang malas balek. Paling cepat kita balek ialah 2 bulan sekali. Dan paling lama ialah 4 bulan sekali. Tapi, bila Fadiah kat UIA, every month mesti nak balik, sebab dah ada member. hehehe

Cakap pasal kat UIA, memang best sangat. Pengalaman yang tak dapat dilupakan. Kat UIA la, Fadiah dapat jalan-jalan dengan semangatnya. First time pegi Putrajaya, pegi Kelantan, pegi Pulau Redang.... Memang best sangat. Makin bertambah lebar senyuman di bibir ni. 

Oleh kerana Allah tahu yang Fadiah ni suka jalan-jalan, maka Allah temukan Fadiah dengan kawan-kawan yang memang kaki jalan. 

Me (Left) Zahroh (Right)

Kat atas ni, gambar saya bersama Zahroh. Daripada Zahroh ni la, Fadiah dapat kenal dengan geng-geng Kaki Jalan. Haaaahhh... kat bawah ni gambar-gambar geng kita:

Boss & Captain

 1. Boss: Hafiz
2. Captain : Yousef

Couple Paling Best

3. Tulang Belakang Boss: Umie.

Actually kita semua dah lama kenal. Tapi Fadiah tak rapat dengan dorg sgt. Kenal gitu-gitu aje. So bila bertemu semula, memang kecoh sikit la. 

Yousef:  Fadiah dah kenal dia ni sejak zaman skola Alsagoff lagi. Masa tu Primary 4. Kita kenal sebab dia ni adek angkat kakak Fadiah! Serious, tak bedek ok. What a small world kaaaan...? hehehe. Pastu kita selalu naik bas, pegi skola sama-sama. Tapi tak penah bebual pon. Masa tu zaman pakai spec mata besar macam goggle. So yousef ni dah penah nampak Fadiah sejak dari zaman kekentalan lagi. Heeeee~

Dalam geng ni, Yousef ni Tukang Cari Idea & Plan untuk Activity.

Hafiz: Hafiz & Yousef satu skola. Dua-dua dari Aljunied. Fadiah kenal Hafiz ni dari jauh jer. Kenal dia masa Secondary skool. Kenal dia pon sebab dia matair dengan bestfriend Fadiah. Sekali tu, bestfriend Fadiah kawen dengan kawan Hafiz. Jodoh. Cantikkan plan Allah tu...? Subhanallah...

Hafiz ni orangnya boleh tahan merepek jugak. Tapi dia tak kelakar mcm yousef, maybe sebab dia dah kawen kot. hahaha. Dalam geng ni, Hafiz ni Tukang Kira Duit & Plan jugak.

Umie: Umie ni classmate Fadiah masa Sec 2 & Sec 4. Kita tak rapat sangat sebab Umie ni jenis budak baik & pendiam. Fadiah pulak kecoh, pastu notty sikit. Hehehe. Tapi kita boleh get along well. Dan bila jumpa dia time Kaki Jalan ni, Fadiah rasa dia gerek & best. Boleh bebual macam-macam & boleh tahan gila jugak. 

Umie tak buat pape sangat. Dia cuma Tukang Support Boss & Tukang Bagi Semangat. Hahaha...

So...itu la Geng Kaki Jalan. 

Kita baru aje start last year & looking forward for many years ahead. Last year, kita pegi Tanjung Pinang. Then baru-baru ni, kita pegi Kuala Terengganu. Pastu dengar-dengar, macam nak pegi Bandung pulak. InsyaAllah. hehehe

Alhamdulillah, kerana dipertemukan dengan insan-insan yang istimewa. ^^

Perjalanan

Assalamualaikum....

Keep on going....
but if you need a rest, do stop for a while.

Setiap perjalanan pasti ada destinasi. 

Setiap destinasi pasti ada matlamat yang diingini.

Begitu juga dengan hidup ini.

Ibarat sebuah perjalanan.

Bagi yang percaya 

bahawa hidup ini sekadar di dunia,

maka destinasinya adalah dunia.

Jika dunia ini musnah,

maka tamatlah destinasi mereka. 

Bagi yang beriman pada Allah, 

dunia ini ibarat sebuah perjalanan.

Dan destinasinya ialah Jannah,

juga dikenali sebagai syurga.

Jika dunia ini musnah, 

maka perjalanan terhenti.

Akan tetapi,

adakah kita akan tiba di destinasi

yang diingini?

InsyaAllah, dengan rahmat Allah, kata yang bersemangat

Terpulang pada amalan, kata yang separuh semangat

Oleh itu,

selagi dunia ini belum musnah,

selagi nafas masih di dada,

selagi mata masih terbuka,

usah pernah mengalah atau berhenti.

Kerana perjalanan maseh panjang.

Destinasi maseh menanti. 

Teruskan berjuang, sahabatku...