InterView

This more-ning, I had an interview. Went out at 10, then reached at bustop around 1020. I lost my way (as I expected) for a while & luckily I managed to find the place. The block located exactly near the junction, which directed to the Downtown East. *sigh*

The interview was ok-ok la...As you all know, I DON'T LIKE interview. Thank You.

As the old saying goes "Kalau ada rezki, tak kemana..." Though I performed like *toot*, this evening I received a phone call, saying that I was selected and can start to come tomorrow for orientation. Weeee~

And guess what, My old colleagues missed me! HAhaha... They miss the DJ (which is me, coz I used to sing and entertain them) and the Tukang Gunting (which is also me) Hehehe.. ALamak, I also missed them la sey....All those gadoh2, pekik2 mcm tarzan...rindu gilerrrrr...giler pun tak rindu mcm gini...hahaha

Oh yeah...I just remembered what Cikgu had said that during the interview... He used the metaphor of apples as to relate it to the economic increasing in Singapore. Woah. berat nah. tak larat nak pikir. hahaha. ok bye!

GoBLoG =)

Hidup ni mana ada senang.

Hidup ni kena banyak berkorban.

Hidup ni hanya sementara.

Hidup ni tak blh nak hepi2 aje.

Mungkin ada org yg kata saya ni hanya pandai cakap saja.

Mungkin ada org yg kata saya ni berubah2.

Mungkin ada org yg kata saya ni dah boring.

Dan mungkin juga ada org yg tak peduli apa saya kata.

Biarkan mereka.

Selagi saya tahu apa yg saya lakukan,

Selagi saya maseh ingat Tuhan,

Selagi saya maseh ada iman,

Selagi itu saya tetap teruskan perjalanan ini.

Tiada apa yg saya pinta

Melainkan doa yg tulus setia.

Terima kaseh di atas segala2nya.

Semoga Allah memberkati dirimu.

P/S: selamat datang ke Blog saya. Bacalah apa2 yang awak mahu. Itu pun kalau awak boleh & sudi untuk membaca =)

Let Go (or Let's Go!)

“When Allah knows you’re ready for the responsibility of commitment,

HE’ll reveal the right person under the right circumstances. Wait

patiently. Don’t waste your time searching and wishing. Grow and be ready, you’ll see Allah will give you a love story far better than you could ever dream of.”

It was me who started it & it will be me who will ended it.

W.

Yeah...a lot of time I have said that I wanna let him go. And MANY times also I DID NOT STICK to my word.

Why?

Bcoz I LOVE him.

I dont blame him, bcoz I also do not know his TRUE feeling. It is soooo hard for me to even guess what he feel, as he did not tell me. If I could guess, I would say that he LIKES me, but I do not know based on LOVE or desire. but I think that it would be more to desire rather than the love itself.

Today, I went to work. He was also there as he has to relief for someone. After class, I asked him to wait for me. He did, but @ the MRT. Then, during the journey, I talked to him. I asked him a lot of questions. And all are DIRECT questions. and I EXPECT him to answer me honestly.

These are some of the KEY-PoH questions:

-Ko takde matair lagi?

-Ko ada suke org tak?

Then he answered NO. He said "Fadiah, kalau ada, kau la org pertama yg aku akan bilang...."

Yeah, mayb he's right. & he is telling the truth. It is only ME. and the problem is only with me.

After that, I realized that I am too concern about him & it is not good. It is really not good. And when I realized, then I have to stop it.

So before I stop him, it is better to stop myself. So there you go. Letting GO & Let's Go...!!!

The Game Plan

First of all, this is not about the movie which starring 'The Rock' k ...hehehe

This entry is all about PLANNING...

As all of you would know that I am kind of person who would LIKE to plan, but I DO plan... and recently I did alot of planning (and I mean ALOT)...

But somehow, there are always obstacles that will come along the way... and I am aware of that.

For instance, Today was supposed to be the day that I go to SENTOSA with Yunita & Salmano. However, the plan were changed because both of them could not make it. Y has to stay @ home, while S is sick. Soooo, I stayed @ home for the whole day. The plan is forwarded to next Monday. InsyaAllah.

And for today, I have learnt a lot of things...

- How to cook Lauk Pindang.

It is a simple dish. All you need are some onion, ginger, shallot, garlic, turmeric, green & red chilis & some Asam Jawa. Oh ya, do add in the fish or meat.

- To tolerate with the things which I do not like.

I had a long and sweet conversation with my parents during dinner time. We discussed regarding our behaviour towards each other. For example, I will tend to have this argument with my mom...I told her that I dislikes the way she tend to repeat what she had told me before. But then dad told me that it is just the way of a mother. He said "When you become a mother, then you will know the needs of repeating things." Yeah yeah yeah...

So far, that are the lessons which I received today. And yeah, I also did some changes for today. For example, my feelings towards W. Alhamdulillah (rasa mcm nak sujud syukur aje) this feeling are neutral. No more the 'I love You' feeling. Only the like and care are left. He is indeed a one hell of a good guy. Yeah really. That WAS why I have feelings towards him. Well, tried not to follow this feeling. Sometimes I succeed, but there are time of failures too. I was overwhelmed by this feeling, until I forgot where I stand. When he treat me casually, then I realized that I am JUST friend to him. I did not blame him, coz he already stated his stand. The problem is with ME. And now, Alhamdulillah, my feeling is more stable than before (agaknya berkat doa yg tidak putus2...Subhanallah)

And I am soooo looking forward for Friday. There will gonna b slumber par-Tee! yeaY!

ok la, gotta go. Must sleep before 12. Toodles!

Kelakar Abes!

NAk share Link ni dgn Korang...

http://funny-profiles-story.blogspot.com/

Kalau boring2, jengok la blog tu... mesti kekek punye...

Hahaha

Alrite!

Today is just like any normal day for me...

Nothing special. Just a ME time. Stayed at home, did some chores, surfed the net, update this blog, chatted with some friends and oh yeah, I'm gonna buy a DSLR from my fren. weeeeee~

She's gonna sell it & I am so gonna buy it. Must start my saving from now. Ok Go! heeee~

Regarding my not-very-special day, the First person who wished me is W!!!!

I am So hyped. that I went speechless. Then he called me & gave me the 'best' est birthday present ever!!!! Oh W...you are such a sweet sweet guy...mcm mana la aku tak jatuh hati kat ko...but naaaah, that will just happen in my dreams...hahaha

And rite now, my mind is still finding ways on how to get easy money. And I know, there is NO easy way to get it. So I have to try and try....never ever give up. Coz by giving up, you will not see the opportunity which lies in front of your eyes =)

I am loooking forward for tomorrow...insyaAllah!

Follow Me...

Assalamualaikum...

It has been like centuries I have not updated this blog.... If it is a thing, it will be super-duper dusty and surrounded by spiderwebs... and I will be sneezing while cleaning it up. I am allergic to dust, by the way...

Ok...updates updates (I know that you guys are waiting for this part rite?)

Let's go thru my updates chronologically k...

1. I have officially resigned from my work! yeay!!!

2. I working as admin, which is just temporary...and my stress level has decreased. wuhoooo~

3. I am very very very looking forward for the UPCOMING MONDAY...hehe

4. My parents have been bugging me to look up for full-time jobs. and I replied "OK".

HAHAHA...dun wanna reply so much. it is really safe, u know. hehe

5. I AM IN THE SAVING MODE. Thank you. Therefore, I will be a bit (or maybe more)

calculative.

And let me recap a bit what happened yesterday...

Woke up in the morning, bcoz Ibu have been nagging me to find full-time jobs. Then had my shower & help out with some chores. Went to the library (coz some of the mags are due. damn.), shopped for groceries. Went back home.

While I am doing the groceries shopping, Bluefairy texted me. She asked me to tell W that her workplace has been trying to call him , but no answer. Then I told her, that he has not contacted me since morning. So I guess that he is not in Singapore or mayb has been busy.

But then I texted him. Asking him to call her back.

5 min later, he told me that he already returned the call. Ok...that was fast. And I was thinking, Nak kena tunggu aku bilang ke baru nak jawab call? Hmmmm.ok watever.

Later that evening, Bluefairy asked me to accompany her for a jalan2 @ Geylang. Asked permission from Ibu, then *poof* Out me go!!! Heeeee~

Had a lot of fun. But unfortunately didnt get to shop coz my MOTTO for this month is:

Say NO to SHOPPING. Say YES to SAVING. (aku tak tahu nak rasa sedih atau gumbira)

Ok la..Azan pun telah pun berkumandang menandakan telah masok waktu solat zohor.

Before I end this post, just wanna say that I miss all of u & this blog to. Sorry for abandoned you for a quite a long time. But this time around, I promise to keep updating it k... *pinky promise*

k la. before Ibu datang, better aku cabot.

Chao chin chao

Sekian.

Wassalam.

2 more weeks...

Assalamualaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh

I have been thinking a lot lately... Thinking about what I am gonna do after my contract end. I think I'm gonna make full use of the degree that I have, meaning that I have to find jobs according to my field. I admit that I really loves in this early childhood thingy, but then, I could not continue in this field as my degree doesn't allow me to do so.

Oh well, so just have to go with my degree... and I know that it will be harder and tougher.

Do pray for me ya! =)

Ten Ten Ten Ten...

Assalamualaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh...

Everybody says that it is a special date...

Everybody says that it is an unique date...

But to me, it is just numbers...and numbers.

oh well.

On the other hand, I had a great day today...

Went to a friend's wedding, then went to meet W...

It is quite weird coz HE is the one who ask me out!

It is rare for him to ask me out...coz I am the one who will always initiate things.

But for some unknown reasons (which I do not want to know), we had a great time together. Had our lunch @ BK, then he helped me with some shoppings. Bought a Fossil watch & bag from Aldo. Weeeee~

He told me some stories and some of his dreams. I listened well. He made some jokes and I laughed. It is just great. And I do not know why, but deep down inside, I feel so secure. and there is this feeling that could not be explain thru words.

Whatever it is, Alhamdulillah. Thank you Allah, for giving me the chance to meet him =))

Too GooD

Assalamualaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh...

It has been like years since the last time I've updated my blog....Woah...

And things are just sooooo great!

Recently I've just officially 'graduated' from my Uni...yes, I had my convocation. And Alhamdulillah, everything are just great. Gotta meet my lovely frenz, spent time with my super-duper bestfriend; W....he was there for me... Thank you for accompanying me though ur assignments are waiting for you...hehehe

My awesome adek2 also spent their night with me in my hotel.... oh btw, I stayed in the hotel from Monday till Wednesday...all alone...but there are people who willingly spent their precious time with me...Weeeeeeeeeeee~ Thank you, thank you *hugs*

And about my werks...well, just cant wait till the end of the year...and so looooooooonng. Heeeeeeeeeee~

Silence

Assalamualaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh

It has been quite long I didnt update this blog. I am not busy. It is just that I am too LAZy to type. HAhaha...

but Today, I have the 'mood' to type it out...

Ok, let see....tomorrow is going to be the all RED&WHITE day @ skooL...we have to dress according to that colour code as to celebrate our Country National day....

Then, on Saturday, I will be going for a short trip to kL...a visit to my sister's place & IIUM... wohoooooooo~ cant wait...*rabb yassir*

And next week...will be the coming of the Holy Month of Ramadhan...

For this Ramadhan, these are my resolutions:

+ Finish my Quranic recitation

+ Reduce listening to music

+ Increase in good deeds

+ Strengthening my relationship with ALLAH

+ Preserving my relationship with humans

+ Reduce in talking and gossipping

+ Read more books

Hope that Allah will help me in reaching for my goal. InsyaAllah~

"If you fail to plan, you will plan to fail."

Being grateful

Assalamualaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh

Heard this story on the radio this morning. About an assistant of a minister, who always saying this phrase as his favourite: "The best one is the one that ALLAH has choosed for you".

One day, the minister was doing some works then accidentally, cutted one of his fingers. The minister told his assistant and as usual, he replied: "The best one is the one that ALLAH has choosed for you."
The minister was angry and decided to put his assistant behind bars. So the assistant was caught and put in the jail. While being arrested, the assistant repeated the same phrase again: "The best one is the one that ALLAH has choosed for you."

A few weeks after that, the minister decided to go for a expedition with his armies. During the trip, they were caught by a group of some aborigines at the area. This group have a ritual of sacrifising humans to their god. Therefore, the minister and his armies were used for the ritual.
Unfortunately, the minister was excepted as they found out that one of his fingers is missing. He was considered as imperfect and not suitable to be sacrifised. He was released and get to go back to his country.

When he reached his country, he meet with his assistant, who was in jail. He realised that what his assistant is true. He asked the assistant: "...but why do say that it is the best for you when you are being put in jail?"

He answered slowly: "Well, if I am not being arrested, I will be following you expedition and get killed as the others."


___________________________________________________________________


And indeed, being grateful and accepted all the things that ALLAH has choosed for you is the best. It may hard to accept it at first, but it is the best for you. =)


Only ALLAH knows the best.

TaHaN

Assalamualaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh

Kalau badan kita lemah, kita kena cari sesuatu yang boleh menguatkan sistem ketahanan badan kita. Tapi kalau hati lemah, nak buat macam mana ye?

Jawapannya: Kembali kepada Pencipta hati itu. Minta kekuatan daripada-Nya.

Kebenaran

Assalamualaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh

Kebenaran itu kadangkala pahit untuk diterima. tapi itu lah kebenaran. Biarpun di selindung, di tutup, namun baunya maseh dapat di hidu. Sinarannya maseh dapat di lihat, walaupun kurang jelas.

Dan pada waktu ini, izinkan aku untuk menyatakan kebenaran, walaupun sedikit.

Kebenaran tentang perasaanku terhadap W.

Memang benarlah orang yang mengatakan: Lelaki & perempuan tidak boleh terlalu rapat. Kalau terlalu rapat, mesti ada perasaan yg lebih2 akan timbul.

Aku ini tidak pandai untuk menyatakan perasaan aku. Aku lebih suka pendam, atau tunjukkan sebaliknya.

Bagi aku, biarlah orang itu tidak tahu. Biarlah dia rasa yang sebaliknya. tapi hakikatnya, bukan itu yang aku rasa. Tapi benda ni aku tidak aplikasikan kepada semua orang. Tak semua orang aku buat yang sama. Ada yang aku nyatakan tentang perasaanku dan ada yang tidak. Tapi jika pada kes W ni, selalunya aku tidak nyatakan.

Kenapa ye?

Hmmmm...entahlah. Aku ada pernah cakap dulu, yang aku suka dia. Dua kali aku nyatakan. Tapi kedua2 itu menerusi SMS. Aku tidak berani untuk bersemuka. Kerana aku malu. bukan malu jika ditolak. kerana aku tak kisah. tapi aku malu kerana aku seorang Wanita. ya, itulah yang aku lebih bimbangkan. Aku tidak kisah jika dia hendak menolak. kerana itu hak dia. Malah, aku lebih risau kalau dia mengiyakan, tetapi pada hakikatnya, dia merasakan sebaliknya.

Aku maseh lagi sedar diri. Walaupun perasaan suka ini kadangkala timbul, aku cuba untuk mengawal.

Tapi aku lemah. Aku tidak berdaya untuk menahan keinginan yang menyebabkan kemurkaan Allah. Oleh itu, aku mohon pertolongan dari-Nya. Aku tak nak terus-meneruskan merosakkan hubungan dengan W. Aku doa agar Allah tunjukkan dan beri ketenangan walaupun aku tidak lagi rapat dengan W.

Pada minggu lalu, yang mana aku rasa aku tak akan dapat berjumpa dengan W lagi, tapi ditakdirkan Allah untuk berjumpa dengannya. Dia menemani aku ketika pergi & pulang dari kL. Dan sepanjang perjalanan pergi & pulang dengannya, telah mengubahkan pandangan dan perasaaan aku terhadap W. Dari pandangan yang kurang senang kepada yang lebih senang. Dari perasaan yang kurang yakin, kepada yang lebih yakin. Aku rasa dia telah berubah. dan aku bangga & gembira untuknya. Sungguh aku katakan. Aku bahagia melihat keadaannya yang sekarang. Dan kerana kegembiraanya & keyakinan yang aku ada, aku terasa mudah untuk melepaskan dia =)

Aku tetap kawannya. dan dia tetap aku anggap sebagai seorang kawan yang sangat baik.

Terima kasih kepadanya yang telah banyak berkongsi dan mengajarku tentang erti hidup. Aku banyak belajar darinya. Sungguh.

Dan kini, kerana perasaan sayang, aku ingin melepaskannya. Biarlah dia pergi. Kerana aku tahu, aku hanya mampu untuk doakan dia. Aku sayang sangat hubungan ini & aku tak sanggup hendak mengotorkannya lagi. Cukuplah dulu kesilapan2 yang pernah aku buat. Aku insaf.

Aku akan terus kuat untuk meneruskan hidup kerana hidup ini lebih dari W. Aku memang suke cerita pasal dia dgn kawan2 aku sbb bagi aku, cerita dia interesting & best2. Dan takde sebab lain. BetoL!

Tapi sekarang ni, nak kurangkan cerita pasal dia. nak lebih fokus pada hidup aku. Nak menikmati hidup yang indah ini dan bersyukur atas segala nikmat yang telah Allah berikan.

Tentang jodoh, biarlah Allah tentukan. kerana aku yakin dengan janji Allah. Aku akan redha, biarpun dengan W. Well, we would never know, rite? =)

H+L

Assalamualaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh...

And I fall in Love again....with who ever him/her is...

The name is Hlovate...it is the combination of the word Love & Hate...creative rite? MashaAllah =)

I read the previous novel which is the Rooftop Rant and I just finished reading another novel from this author titled Versus.

And I learnt a LOoooOooooT.....and I discover something.

I discovered my strength, I found again myself. Thank you, Allah.

For guiding my heart.

For showing me the way.

For making things easier for me.

For supporting me with strength.

For providing me with good health, family, friends and those who I need.

I will not going to fall again. I did fall and then get back up. Fall then rise up.

Because that is life.

But this time around, I am going with YOU. Through YOUR way. I know it is hard, but I will try. Because changing for good is HARD.. It will gonna take a lot of sacrifices. A LOT.

But I am going to TRY. though it takes thousand times.

O ALLAH, please support me with strength and perseverence.

" Changing for good is not a sin. Though it'll cost you blood and tears for a start."~Hlovate~

Lesson oh Lesson

Assalamualaikum...

In order to learn something, speed is not important. The most important thing is perseverence and the application of the lesson itself.

I had just came back from my short kL trip recently. I reached home aroun 10pm yesterday. Went back with W. Thanks a lot to him that I have received many lessons...

I went there on Tuesday...At first, I made arrangement with W, to go there together. But then, he cancelled it last minute bcoz of some reasons. So I decided to just proceed on my own. I reached Larkin around 845am, then rushed to change some money (as I dont have any RM in my wallet) and bought the 9am bus to kL. At first I though that I wanna buy the Transnational tix, but then the counter was a bit far, so I bought the Konsortium bus instead.

I took the bus and settle down in my seat. When I was about to put on my iPod on my ears, suddenly there was a guy standing beside me and said: "Excuse me, this is seat is taken already."

Then, I look up and saw W!!!!

I was shocked, but manage to maintain it. I smiled and said: "Eh...ko naik bus ni?"

He said: "Yup..aku memang selalu naik bus ni..."

Then we said goodbye and he went to his seat, which is two seat in front of mine.

We didnt talked much, but we had a great conversation on our way to IIUM. He shared a lot of things and updated some of his life stories with me. Some of them are inspiring.

On Wednesday, I went to JPJ, to settle my convert letter. After that, I went to HS for some meet-up session with my juniors. W came later. We had a great and short meet up. After zohr, I went out with Farhan. We watched Shrek 3. It was fun, but Farhan finds it bored, so he slept during the muvee. Duh!

On Thursday, I met with my sister. Had a conversation with her, accompanied her for her check up @ the clinic. She advised me a lot and it blends well in my head. Alhamdulillah.

On Friday, went back with W. on the way back, we talked a lot. and yeah, he is the one who will usually have a lot to share. I managed to learn a loooooooooooooooot from his stories. He is one good friend who shared and taught me a lot about this life.

So that's the recap for the my short and sweet kL trip.

Thank you Allah, for everything. =)

Feeling....

Assalammualaikum

Everyone need somebody to love, understand and care for them. The same goes with me.

I need that person. But somehow, I must be patient. bcoz it is not easy to find the right one. NO, not the right one. just the one who completed you as who you are. Yes....He is the one whom I am looking for.

I know that I have made some few wrong decisions. but this time around, I am not going to make the same mistakes again. I want to make my choices and go on with that.

W still lingering in my life, bcoz I allowed him to do so. I know about my feelings towards him and he also express his feeling but not exactly in a way that I would exactly understand...but whatever that he is trying to express, I will ensure that it is not love. It maybe just a mere feeling or lust. I do not know. I know that I cannot be fickle-minded anymore. Therefore, if he is the one, just leave it to Allah coz I have already tried my best.

I just hope that Allah will show me the way. InsyaAllah.

Building

Assalamualaikum....

"A muslim towards another muslim is like a building. They support one another." -Hadeeth sahih min Sunnan Abi Daud & Tirmidzi

So what will happen to those who condemn one another?

Hmmmm....

This thing have been lingering in my mind since like just now...hehe.

I went out to meet with Bluefairy after werk. She treat me for my iftar *Thanks to Bluefairy* After the iftar, went to solat and widow-shopping for a while, then went back coz got nothing to do. Reached home, joined my dad to watch for the local news. Then ayah said: "There is a recent news..." I was excited to wait for the news...then...there it was: the news about the Israeli attacks a boat which is on their way to Gaza to send the food supplies...

It was a bit shock for me (who did not always care to watch or care for what happening in this world) =)

And now....I realize something...

that I have been sleeping in my own world....with my own feeling....with my own comfort....

From this moment, I want to spare some of my time, doing a little thing for my brothers and sisters who is suffering in their own land...either in Palestine, Thailand or even in Singapore...

These will not only be an empty words...but those words which will bring some benefit for them. InsyaAllah....

Hidup Ini...

Assalamualaikum...

Dah lama tak tulis entry dalam bahasa Melayu...Sebenarnya aku dah malas nak blog...
Kadang2 tu, rasa nak blog, tapi bila nak type, malas...So kalau perkataan MALAS tu dah ada, selamat tinggal la jawabnya...heeee~

Ok, aku baru perasaan yang entri aku sebelum2 ni banyak pasal W...so aku dah penat nak citer sal W...mari kita cerita pasal idop aku...

Sekarang ni tengah sibuk dengan PTC (parent-teacher conference) yang akan berlangsung pada bulan JUN nanti....minggu depan merupakan minggu terakhir persekolahan...aku dah tak sabar nak cuti...heheh

Dan lately ni, aku tgh stress dengan worksheet budak2 yang berlambak...semua datang last minute...Entah kenapa eh? Aku pun tak paham curriculum department buat keje mcm mana... Haizzzz....Yang penting, aku buat keje & nak kena rush budak2 ni...Kesian aku tgk budak2 ni...tapi nak buat mcm mana....aku harap dorg kuat...insyaAllah...

Owh...baru2 ni ada sorang adek dari skola lama aku semangat menegur aku kat YM, tapi aku malas nak layan...tak tahu la nape..sekarang ni aku dah malas nak layan orang esp guys...aku cuma layan W sorang je..sbb cuma dia je yang kuasa nak layan aku...huhu

dan lagi satu perkara penting, Aku dah tak pikir tentang kawen lagi....kalau ada jodoh, ada la...kalau bukan di dunia, mungkin di akhirat nanti...kan? kan? Tapi usaha tetap diteruskan =)

This Bond

Assalamualaikum....

Things always happened when you are least expecting it....

That what had happened to me....

I expected that I will not continue my friendship with W, after all the fights and confessions...but then, he forgave me and accept me back.

I am glad but I did not put any hopes on him. Nothing at all.

We had a great chat on last Saturday night. He shared with me a lot of stories. About his life, his dissapointment towards me (duh!) and his hopes towards me. I know and understand how he feels.

I admit that it is really hard for me. He also said that. "Fadiah, i know that it is hard for you. tapi aku harap sgt ko tak citer dgn org lagi. It is the best for both of us. Aku tak nak ko susah nanti."

Yeah. It is hard. But I have to try. because It is a promise. It is MY PROMISE to him. and to myself.

I know there are risks. I dare to take it & I leave it in Allah's hand. Let HIM guides his heart.

والله على كل شيء قدير

To-get-her

Assalamualaikum

Alhamdulillah...i got a chance to prove that i can make him happy....

Thank you for trusting in me....

I wont let you down...

I wont repeat the same mistake again....

InsyaAllah (ni InsyaAllah Islam k, bukan Melayu sbb aku bukan orang Melayu)

The walk

Assalamualaikum

When you begin a journey, always remember to equip yourself with the right intention. Once the intention is right, the journey will be smooth and you will get to your destination safely, though there might be some obstacles and challenges.


Life is also like that. It is a journey. and throughout this journey, you may come across many kind of people and you will learn a lot of things.


Therefore, be patient and never ever give up =)

Leaving....

Assalamualaikum....

When we leave someone behind, most people will think because of hatred or dislike....but not for me.

I leave him behind bcoz I need time for myself. Frankly speaking, I really care for him more than myself. But I have to make this decision due to the mistakes that I have done.

Only Allah knows how I feel.


People may assumed and talked. So let them be.

And if it meant to be, then just let Allah handles it. As for me, I am not strong enough to handle this thing. Without Allah's help, I am absolutely nothing....Rabb yassir wala tu'assir...

As requested

Assalamualaikum....

Its been quite long since I updated this blog.

I went online yesterday & chatted with Ayu. She asked me about my blog. I told her that it has been soooo long since I updated it. Therefore, I decided to update it today.

Not much to say.

Just want you to know that I have changed this blog to public as I want to share it with everyone.

Bcoz we are all human, after all.

*do you think that there is any significant between blog & being human?

I think there is. However I couldnt type to long coz I got to do some summaries for the DP.

ok bYe!

Harapan

Assalamualaikum

Bila kita letakkan harapan kita pada sesuatu, kita selalu akan pastikan bahawa harapan itu terletak di tempat yang selamat dan terjamin. Tidak ada orang yang mahu mengharapkan pada sesuatu yang kurang pasti. Begitu juga dengan diri aku ini.

Bila mengharap, biarlah pada yang pasti. Segala yang kurang pasti itu, aku letakkan di tepi. Aku tidak terus buang. kerana aku sendiri kurang pasti, apakah ianya seperti yang aku rasa, atau sebaliknya...

Walau apa pun, aku tetap mengharap...tetapi mengharap hanya pada yang PASTI.

Gambar tu menunjukkan yang orang besar & orang kecik sedang bergaduh. Orang besar tu ingatkan yang dia dah besar sgt. Yang orang kecik pulak ingat yang walaupun dia kecik, tapi dia kuat. Namun, kedua2 tak sedar yang masing2 ada kelemahan tersendiri. Suka hati la...
gadoh la korang sampai tua nanti...muahahaha

Rindu....

Assalamualaikum

Bila rindu dipendam,

Lalu doa tersemat,

Sebagai tanda ingatan,

Yang tulus lagi ikhlas.


Biarlah orang tidak tahu dan tidak mengerti,
asalkan diri kita yang faham.

Gone

Assalammualaikum

Please let me disappear for a while...

I have to recharge my battery...

Will be back in a couple of months....

Take care...

Touch

Assalammualaikum...

Sometimes we may touched other peoples' heart without knowing it...and it also goes the other way round.

I always believed that there will always be a reason for EVERYTHING that happened in my life. Therefore, I will TRY not going to worry about the unnecessary things. I want to keep moving forward and do wanna look back, although sometimes we have to look back...

For the unsure things, I will try not to think about it....I want to leave it to Allah and let Him handle it for me... I know that I have to strive my best, but certain things are just beyond our limit...

and the BEST help always comes from ALLAH, coz HE is the ONE who controls everything. And we as human, will tend to forget about that =(

"La hawla wala quwwata illa billahil 'aliyyul 'adhzim..."

My Career

Assalamualaikum

These few months have been pretty hectic. Last Sunday, I had a private meeting with the boss of my working place. The purpose of the meeting was to negotiate about my salary and to ask about the course which I have to take in order to pursue in the Early Childhood career.

I am thinking that I am NOT going to take it as I just would want to gain experience through this job. But then, she told me that I have to take or else I would have to resign. Then I answered: "If that is the case, then I think that I shall quit." Her face changed as she was sooooo shocked that I said like that.

Ok, I know that it is quite personal to say this kinda thing in a blog. But somehow, I think that would not be staying too long in this kind of environment. At first, I thought that I could stay long as I always enjoyed with the kids. But then, there is a sudden change in my passion. I do not enjoyed much. and I could not understand much. I admit to my boss that it IS MY MISTAKe because I did not think carefully while accepting the offer.

And because of the confusion, I cried that night. I texted W. This is how it goes:

Me: W, ko rasa aku ni senang give up nye orang tak?

Him: Tak =)

Me: Thanks W. I really need to hear that :)

Him: Jangan pikir bukan2 k...

Me: Khair InsyaAllah. Aku kena kuat. Doakan k =)

Him: Selalu doakan ko... Gi rehat, sok keje kan...


How I wish that he was here with me. But somehow, I am grateful that he is always with me eventhough he is far. Thank you, W. and thank YOU, ALLAH for giving me a friend like him.

Beyond Expectation

Assalamualaikum....

Baru je nak sedey2 sbb ingatkan W dah lupakan dyah, tetiba ALLAh bagi dyah sesuatu yang di luar jangkaan...Alhamdulillah...

Semalam off day. so kuar jumpa Yunita...kita jumpa dlm kul 12+.. gi makan, shopping jap, then chill2 story...heee~

Then dalam kul 3 gitu, aku dapat sms dari W:

"Fadiah, aku kat s'pore...Nana pun ada sini. Dia minta bday present. hehe."

Dyah pun dgn excited membalas. Sms punye sms, dipendekkan cerita, kita pun decide untuk jumpa. Diorg nak gi Sentosa. So tyme tu pun kebetulan nak alek, Dyah terus shoot ke Sentosa. & FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE, i went to SENTOSA, all by myself. (sbb diorang naik bas ramai2 gi Sentosa). & Alhamdulillah tak sesat. huhuhu...

I met them at the beach station & from there, we went to the Merlion, played the LUGE (aku & nana je main. W duduk tepi dgn Muja, pegangkan beg kita...heeee~), walked at Siloso & rode the beach tram. weeeee~

Then, when they are about to go to the next event, which is the Songs of the Sea show, W and I decided to go back, as the show required ticket to enter. kita mana sempat nak beli, abeh budak2 ni dah beli siang2. huhuhu.

Lepas je 'berpisah' dgn diorang, kita decide nak gi makan sbb lapar giler. Sampai Vivo je, kita makan kat Breeks. Masa makan2 tu, sempatlah citer2. mcm2 jugak la citer until one part ni, dah tak tahu nak citer apa lagi...hehe

Pas abes makan, aku ingat nak bayar, abeh W dah bayarkan dulu. Apa la dia ni...tak bagi aku can nak blanja dia. huhu. Pas makan, kita alek sbb sok aku keja. Kita naik cab & head to our own different way.


P/S: Entry kali ni pakai bahasa rojak sbb otak ni kurang berfungsi sikit. Huhuh.

Forget

Assalamualaikum

Mayb dia dah lupakan Dyah...

maybe....

Fare thee Well

Assalamualaikum

Dan setelah beberapa kali berkata pada diri tentang perasaan ini, Dyah akhirnya berputus untuk melepaskan dia.

Selamat tinggal, W. Dyah bukan tak sayang persahabatan ini, tapi kerana terlalu sayang la dyah terpaksa tinggalkan. Dyah tahu susah, sebab tu dyah nak cuba. and I know that it is not an easy thing.

Kawan-kawan semua pesan dengan dyah, biarlah masa yang menentukan segalanya. Ye, tapi dyah ni tak sabar. Bagi dyah, masa terlalu lama untuk dinanti. Oleh itu, dyah buat keputusan untuk mengundurkan diri.

Semalam dyah msg W kat Fb, tanya dia nape dia senyap je. Dyah kata lah yang dyah rindukan kawan dyah. Dyah rindu nak bebual2 dgn dia. & tadi dia reply. Dia kata sejak nenek dia meninggal, dia jadi kadang betol & kadang tak. Dyah tak tahu nak percaya atau tak. Apa2 pun, kalau dia jujur, khair insyaAllah. kalau tidak pun, dyah tahu dia buat gitu sebab nak jaga hati dyah. Dia mintak dyah faham. Dyah cuba faham. InsyaAllah.

Apa2 pun, dyah nak cuba hidup tanpa dia. Dyah nak cuba untuk lupakan dia. Dyah nak kena move on. Kali ini betol2. Fadiah BOLEH!!!!

"Ya Allah, berikanlah hamba-Mu ini kekuatan..."

Rasa Ini

Assalamualaikum

Dyah tak suke rasa ni.

Kadang2 rasa penat nak layan perasaan-perasaan yang tak penting ni.

Tapi dyah tahu, perasaan ni adalah ujian.

Dyah bersyukur sebab dengan adanya rasa ini, dyah tahu nak menghargai dia.

Tapi kadangkala penat jugak dengan rasa ini.

Apa-apa pun, Khair InsyaAllah.



Kena yakin k, Fadiah =)

Private

Assalamualaikum...







Tiba-tiba aku dapat ilham untuk nak 'private' kan blog ni...

So...

Tak lama lagi lah...






TUNGGUUUUUUUUUUUUU...






P/S: Pada sesiapa yang sudi untuk membaca blog aku, bagi la email korang k...

Bukan Untuk Dijual

Assalamualaikum

Benda2 yang tidak boleh dijual-beli, meskipun kita ada seluruh harta di dunia ini:

1. Iman

2. Hati

3. Perasaan

4. Maruah

5. Ahli Keluarga

6. Persahabatan yang SEJATI

7. Kepercayaan

8. Rasa hormat

9. Kasih Sayang

10. Kenangan

Kalau tidak percaya, cubalah. Dan jikalau ada yang kurang, tambahlah. Takot terlupa. Biasalah. Manusia =)

Bahasa KITA

Assalamualaikum..

Ok...PENGUMUMAN: Mulai dari entri ini, aku nak membiasakan diri untuk menulis dalam bahasa Melayu yang betul. Biarlah kalau orang tak faham ke...orang nak kata skema ke... tidak mengikuti perkembangan zaman ke...peduli apa...yang penting, aku sayang bahasa aku =)

Apa yang membuatkan aku bersikap begini?

Ok, kerana 2 sebab:

(1) Sebab aku dapat inspirasi dari Dila & Ayoosh =)

(2) Sebab aku mengajar & aku dapati bahawa anak-anak di Singapura yang berBANGSA MELAYU, tapi tidak tahu atau tidak fasih berbual MELAYU...

Aku tidak bermaksud hendak fanatik dengan bahasa....TIDAK.

Cakap atau gunakanlah bahasa mengikut keadaan yang sesuai.

Kalau bercakap dengan orang Melayu, gunalah bahasa Melayu. Kalau bercakap dengan bangsa lain, gunalah bahasa Inggeris atau apa-apa bahasa yang boleh difahami.

Dan sekarang ni, aku sedang memerah otak tentang cara untuk mengajar anak-anak ini...

Seawal umur 3-4 tahun sudah tidak tahu berbahasa Melayu. tetapi bila tengok bangsanya diletakkan Bangsa: MELAYU.

Hairan bukan?

Jatuh

Assalammualaikum

Terasa nak menulis dalam bahasa melayu. Baru ingat nak tidur cepat hari ni. Tapi mata ni maseh segar nak menatap skrin laptop ni. Huhuhu.

Mari aku cerita sedikit tentang apa yang berlaku hari ni. Pagi2 lagi dah keluar untuk mengajar madrasah. Dah lama tak mengajar & bila mengajar pagi tadi, aku terasa sedikit kepuasan sebab dapat berkongsi serba sedikit ilmu dengan adek2 ni.... Untuk kelas aku, sepatutnya ada 11 orang kesemuanya. Tapi oleh kerana minggu PERTAMA persekolahan, jadi yang datang cuma 4 orang je. Dan Alhamdulillah, kesemua mereka memberi kerjasama yang baik. Walaupun kadang-kala mereka tidak betah untuk duduk. Biasa laaaaa...remaja. Sape yang suka nak dengar cikgu berbual? Hahaha...

Cuma satu saje yang aku kurang setuju ialah tentang sistem pengendalian kelas tersebut. Patot ke kita diberi penerangan tentang apa yang patot diajar pada hari yang sama sebelum kelas bermula? Sabar je laaaa...huhuhu.

Bak kata seorang teman: "Khair InsyaAllah =)"

Ok, selepas mengajar, aku terus ke Boon Lay untuk bertemu dgn W. Mula2 macam malas, tapi kena rajin2kan diri ni sebab W dah tolong bawakkan grad audit & partial transcript aku dari KL ke S'pura. Jaouh tuuuu...Jasamu di kenang, W... Mula2 ingatkan nak bebual2 dgn W sebab dah alang2 berjumpa...tapi takde rezeki nampaknye...sebab parent dia pun ikot sekali...so dia tak boleh lama. Jadi lepas dia beri pada aku benda tu, kita jalan jap & aku pun alek. Khair insyaAllah...

Lepas tu, aku tak tahu hendak ke mana. sebab kalau ikot plan sebenarnya, aku nak lepak dgn W jap, then terus ke Orchard selepas asar. Aku janji dgn Ayoosh untuk bertemu dengannya. Tapi memandangkan plan dah berubah, aku pun terus ke Orchard & layan diri sorang2. Sewaktu melayan diri tu, tetiba perasaan sedih menyelubungi hati ini.

Aku sedih. kerana terjatuh lagi. Malam sebelumnya berulang sekali lagi benda yang sepatotnya aku elakkan. Aku terlalu ikotkan rasa. Orang kata kalau ikotkan rasa, binasa. Itu lah diri aku.
Itu apa yang aku rasa petang tadi.

Oleh kerana lama lagi nak bertemu dgn Ayoosh, aku berjalan perlahan2 menuju ke Masjid al-Falah. Di situ, aku mencari ketenangan yang hilang. Aku menangis. Dah lama tak nangis mcm tadi..Dan Alhamdulillah, aku menemui ketenangan itu. Walaupun tidak banyak, tapi ia dapat mengurangkan keresahan di hati ini.

Selepas asar, Ayoosh pun tiba. Kita jalan2, makan2 & buat sesi luahan. Terima kasih Ayoosh kerana sudi meluangkan masa bersama & menyinarkan sedikit cahaya dalam hidup ini. *winks*

Banyak benda yang aku fikirkan sejak dah mula bekerja ni. Tentang masa depan, tentang masalah umat Islam di Singapura, tentang keadaan di tempat kerja...macam2 la... Lepas tu campur lagi dengan perasaan2 rindu aku terhadap kawan2...seperti adek2 aku, W etc...

Tapi walau macam mana besar atau banyak masalah yang datang sekali pun, aku TAK AKAN berputus asa. Biarlah lambat atau terhenti seketika, tapi aku akan teruskan.
Sebab itu ada lah diri aku.

Khair InsyaAllah ;)

Rindu

Assalamualaikum

Kawan saya kata,

Kalau kita Rindukan seseorang,

kita doakan untuk dia.

Oleh itu,

saya nak berdoa dan terus berdoa untuk orang2 yang saya rindu.


"Ya Allah, KAU jagalah orang2 yang aku rindu. Ampunkanlah dosa2 mereka dan kabulkan permintaan mereka. Jika ada diantara mereka yg di dalam kesusahan, KAU senangkanlah. Jika ada diantara mereka yg resah, KAU tenangkanlah. Sesungguhnya tiada daya dan upaya selain daripada Mu. Ameen ya rabb...."