Pre - Meeting

Assalamualaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh...

You will never walk alone...

It was beyond my expectation. 

I did not expect to know him. It was like a miracle. 

Last month, when everything seems dark and fall apart, suddenly there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

So here the story goes...

One of my colleagues asked me if I would like to get to know with one of her friends... She wanted to introduce me to him. Then I said that I don't mind. Just ask him to make the first step. 

Then several days after that, I received a friend request on FB. It was a guy. I approved him. The next day, he messaged me. After some conversation, we exchanged our numbers. So that is the beginning...

Few weeks after our conversation over the phone, he would like to meet me face to face. I was hesitated at first. But then, I just go with what my heart tells me. 

We met @ Tampines, right after my work. We went for a dinner & he walked me home. IT WAS THE FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE THAT A GUY WALKED ME HOME!!! (ada sikit bunga-bunga di hati ni, tapi baru sikit ajerrr)

So, that was the first time we met. Didnt feel so awkward, yet it was awesome. Totally. 

Followed by that, we initiated a second meeting. It was on Wednesday (several weeks after the first one), after his work. 

We went for a walk @ the town, lunch at Cineleisure. While having our late lunch, he popped up some questions regarding our future. It was a short & nice meet up.

And tomorrow, he is going to meet my parents. I am happy, yet not too happy. in other words, I am grateful. Truly grateful.

I have many sins, and yet the blessings are still pouring non stop. Alhamdulillah :,)

May Allah make it easier for us. For every one of us. Ameen.  

  

December: My precious month

Assalamualaikum...

The colours in my Life ^^

It is here again. Alhamdulillah...

I do not have any holiday for this month, but I am glad that I could make it. All praises to the Creator...

It is just a special month for me. Besides than it is my birthday month, it is also a month of reunite with my family. I have missed loads of family activities, and rite now, I am going to grab the oppotunities that have been given. And yeah, I am going to resign from Cordova and will be continuing in HANIS.

Yes, U did not see a wrong thing. It is Hanis. I will be joining the team again. For the SECOND time. upon a REQUEST from my friends. And I am going to go for the Diploma in Early Childhood. Which means, I have to resume my studies. Weeeeeeeeeee~ I cant wait to have my student life. Though it is a different one. coz I have to work + study = WOAH~

It is a tough. But I am going to try. NO harm in trying.

Wish me luck! ^^

Things we often forget...

Assalamualaikum...

Alhamdulillah, all praises be to Allah for all the blessings that have been pouring non stop, from the day we are born in this world, until now, the day we still standing on this earth...

The oxygen that we breathe, the foods that we ate, the money that we have, those people that who we loved and who loves us too, the problems that we faced etc.

All these are the littlest things that we overlooked and sometimes took it for granted...

This post is just a little reminder, for myself especially, to always appreciate and cherish those people and blessings that were blessed upon us...

Thank you, Allah...Thank you, thank you, thank YOU ^^

Maju terus...

Masa tidak akan menunggu sesiapa...

Assalamualaikum...

Apabila ada sesuatu perkara yang di luar jangkaan kita berlaku, terasa hidup seperti terhenti seketika. Tetapi saya salah. Ia tidak berhenti, cuma ia dibazirkan. Ia terus berjalan dan berlalu meninggalkan kita. Dan apa yang saya dapat? Tidak ada apa-apa...

Lalu, diri ini berfikir sejenak.... Mencari sesuatu yang hilang dari diri. Bukan orang yang hilang. Tetapi semangat & keimanan yang berkurangan.

Ye, sekarang baru saya sedar. Dan saya tidak mahu membazirkannya lagi. Saya ingin mencapai sebanyak yang mungkin kerana saya telah banyak membazir. Dan sesungguhnya orang yang suka membazir itu adalah kawan Syaitan.

في الآخر...

Bersyukur. Sedih. Lega. Kecewa.

All these feelings are inside me now.

I decided to let it all go. So that I will not be thinking about it anymore.

My mistakes:
- I let she trust me.
- I never verify it with him.
- I broke the promise.
- I pretend to be ok when it is not.
- I keep it inside & do not let it go.

And now, It's over. Its the end. All the dramas. All the lies. I've hurt so much till it became numb. I learnt a lot from it.

I am only human. For Allah's sake.

I have nothing to say. It's done.

...حسبنا الله ونعم الوكيل وتوكلنا على الله

Berpasang-pasangan.

Assalamualaikum....

Sepasang. Sama, tapi lain. ^^

Seperti gambar yang tertera di atas, kita juga begitu. Di ciptakan berpasang-pasangan. Allah telah sediakan pasangan bagi setiap individu. Tugas kita hanya perlu berusaha untuk bertemu dengan pasangan kita.

"Bila nak kawen?"

"Dah ada calon ke belum?"

Memang tipu kalau Fadiah katakan yang Fadiah tidak mahu kawen. Semua orang ada keinginan untuk berkahwin. Semua orang ada keinginan untuk hidup dengan pasangan masing-masing. Kerana kita semua manusia. Keinginan itu adalah fitrah.

Tapi Fadiah sering terlupa. Bahawa fitrah itu harus dikembalikan kepada ALLAH. Harus berlandaskan cara-cara yang ALLAH telah tetapkan. Bukan dengan cara yang Fadiah RASA BETOL.

Dan sekarang ni, Fadiah kembalikan pada Pencipta fitrah itu. Kerana hanya DIA yang berkuasa di atas segala-galanya. Kita hanya sekadar hamba yang hanya mampu untuk berusaha & berusaha. Fadiah berusaha, walaupun kadang orang kata yang Fadiah tak berusaha. Cuma Fadiah rasa tak perlu lah Fadiah katakan apa yang Fadiah telah usahakan. Biar Allah saja yang tahu.

Alhamdulillah, hati semakin tenang setelah kita meletakkan segala-galanya pada tempat yang sepatutnya.

Keadaan dengan kawan-kawan & di tempat kerja juga telah kembali seperti biasa. Semuanya baik-baik saja.

Alhamdulillah....

Bila kita minta sedikit, Allah berikan banyak. Maha Suci Engkau, Wahai Penciptaku :')

Mistakes...

Assalamualaikum...

Seperti yang tertera pada tajuk entri kali ini, Fadiah ingin membuat sedikit refleksi diri...

Fadiah baru sedar selama ini Fadiah terlalu banyak membuat kesalahan sehingga kadang-kadang tu rasa macam dah takde harapan lagi nak hidup...

Tapi Allah itu Maha Pengasih, lagi Maha Penyayang.... DIA tetap bagi Fadiah peluang untuk bertaubat dan membasuh segala dosa-dosa yang ada... Dan Fadiah tahu, walau macam mana baik sekali pun, kita tetap manusia... yang penuh dengan dosa....

Setelah Fadiah buat keputusan yang tidak disangka-sangka, memang seriously Fadiah sedih... For about a week, Fadiah sedih sangat-sangat.... Senang sangat airmata ni keluar tengok bumi... Everytime solat, mesti aje nak basah... Kadang marah dengan diri sebab sedih sangat.... Tapi bila fikir semula, perasaan itu pemberian Allah, jadi kena bersyukur...

Lepas tu, Fadiah terasa yang sebenarnya semuanya berpunca dari diri sendiri.

Ye, diri saya sendiri.

Kerana saya tidak berterus terang.

Saya pendam. Sehinggakan bila disakiti, Fadiah dah rasa lali. Dan bila Fadiah buat keputusan untuk lepaskan dia, Fadiah rasa yang Fadiah ni bagos sgt.

Entah apa yang bagos sgt pun tak tahu.

Padahal, bagi dia, takde apa-apa. Fadiah yang sedih sorang-sorang, gembira sorang-sorang....hatta, lepaskan pun sorang-sorang. Tapi bila fadiah minta dia lepaskan untuk kali kedua, Fadiah RASA dia tahu yang Fadiah serious.

Perhatikan perkataan RASA tu.

Most of this friendship is based on 'Rasa'. sebabnya...komunikasi yang tidak berkesan. Fadiah ni bukan jenis kawan yang baik. Really. sebabnya Fadiah tak suke nak menegur orang. Bila orang tu dah rapat sangat-sangat dengan fadiah, fadiah akan jadi jenis 'tak-kuasa-nak-cakap'.

So there are my MISTAKEs.

Kawan yang baik akan saling tegur-menegur. Kawan yang baik akan saling nasihat & ingat-mengingatkan. Kawan yang baik akan berbual dari hati ke hati. Yang paling penting, kawan yang baik itu saling DOA-MENDOAKAN.

Fadiah dah belajar dari kesilapan. Kalau ditakdirkan bertemu semula, Fadiah nak jadi kawan yang baik. Sesungguhnya dia memang seorang kawan yang baik. Really. It is me, who is wronged.

Fadiah nak pergi jauh-jauh dari dia untuk perbaiki diri ini. Sungguh diri ini perlu belajar banyak lagi.

"Ya Allah, jaga lah orang-orang yang aku sayang. Rahmati & kasihanilah mereka. Jikalau ditakdirkan aku tidak dapat bertemu dengan mereka di dunia, pertemukanlah kami di syurga-Mu. Ameen ya Rabb..."

Kalau NAK yang baik, kena JADI baik dahulu ^^

Write. Tulis. كتب

Assalamualaikum...

Rasa macam dah lama tak belog dalam bahasa Melayu...

Semakin hari, semakin malas rasa nak belog... Encik Diari pun dah merajuk dengan saya. Kali terakhir menulis dalam diary ialah dalam bulan Mei ( kalau tak silap)

Dan sekarang ni, kemalasan tahap gunung Everest harus dihapuskan.... Ibarat menghapuskan kotoran kerana masakan hangus yang melekat di periuk... Berus, berus, berus... lama-lama hilang...

Entri kali ni Fadiah nak mengemaskini sedikit tentang keadaan diri Fadiah sekarang....

Fadiah maseh mengajar di Cordova. Dan insyaAllah sehingga hujung tahun ini, bermakna pada bulan Disember nanti, Fadiah akan berenti & bertukar ke tempat kerja yang baru. Fadiah ada dapat tawaran dari MCYS ( nama singkat bagi Ministry of Community, Youth and Sports). Jawatan belum tahu sebagai apa. Apa yang Fadiah tahu, mereka suruh Fadiah contact dalam bulan November nanti. So Fadiah akan contact. Dan kalau ada rezeki, insyaAllah tak ke mana....

Ok, tentang Cordova, takde banyak nak cakap. Semuanya ok...terutama sekali orang2 yang sepejabat. Memang best sgt2. Kebanyakan susasana kat cordova tu sikit lebih kurang sama macam zaman di Maahad dahulu. Subhanallah~

Dan ye, sekarang ni Fadiah dah sedar tentang sesuatu....

Fadiah sedar yang selama ni Fadiah bertepuk sebelah tangan. Tadi pagi, Fadiah buat confession. Fadiah bilang seseorang yang Fadiah suke dia. Tapi dia tak bagi respon apa-apa.

Hmmmm... takpe la. Memang Fadiah tak mengharapkan apa-apa. Seriously. Fadiah cakap tu pun sekadar nak melepaskan apa yang tersirat di hati. Dan Alhamdulillah, apa yang ada di hati ni dah berkurangan.

Fadiah sedar akan kelemahan diri ni. Memang sedar sangat-sangat. Ibarat hidung tak mancong, pipi tersorong-sorong. itu lah Fadiah.

Fadiah lupa yang Fadiah pernah berjanji yang Fadiah cuma nak fokus untuk dapatkan redha Allah. Tapi kadang tu selalu kalah dengan nafsu. Fadiah terlalu ikotkan nafsu, sehingga apa yang dilarang oleh Allah, Fadiah sanggup buat. Kerana sayang punya pasal. Astaghfirullah~

Fadiah memang bukan jenis yang senang nak share dengan orang. Hatta, keluarga & kawan rapat sendiri pun jarang share. So apa yang Fadiah buat, hanya ALLAH, Fadiah & orang tu aje yang tahu. It is a very very very very complicated thing.

Fadiah tak nak buka aib orang. Sebab kalau kita buka aib orang, tanpa kita sedari, kita juga akan buka aib diri sendiri.

Fadiah pun memang jenis yang tak suka nak berdo'a di dalam alam maya ni. Maksudnya, kalau nak luahkan rasa menyesal, luahkan sikit2. tak nak jadi macam sesetengah orang, di mana kalau mereka luahkan kekesalan + taubat, dengan penuh kesungguhan. Yang peliknya, mereka buat di alam maya. Bukan ke kita hanya di suruh buat begitu ketika berada di HADAPAN / DENGAN Tuhan sahaja?

Hmmmm...masing-masing la ye.

Apa-apa pun, diri Fadiah ini maseh penuh dengan kelemahan & kekurangan. Tidak ada apa yang perlu dibanggakan.

Sesungguhnya Allah Maha Mengetahui :)

Try Again

Assalamualaikum...

This entry will be about W.

I've tried to let him go. I've deleted his number. Tell him to forget me.

But just when i was about to think that i have succeed, he came back. He texted me after 2 weeks of silence.

I did all these not because I hate him. I don't even have a slice of hatred towards him. It is just that i want to keep my promise. The promise which I did with myself.

I promised to myself that I will not be close to him when I know that he already has someone special. and I do not want to break the promise. I want to be sincere with myself.

And oh yeah, there is still one thing which I haven't try yet... That is to ignore him.

Yeah, mayb I should try that too...

Wish me luck :)

Be. Grateful

Assalamualaikum...

Life is full of blessings. When we feel sad, there is always be someone who will try to cheer you up. Alhmdulillah~

Thank you dear friend for making me smile & be there for me...

And right now, there is only ONE goal in my life, that is to seek Allah's blessings.

I do not want to be the old me, who is always talk about W and way too concern about him. The story about him is so yesterday.

And yes, if he need any help or opinion, I am willing to help. But that's it. Nothing more. Nothing less.

He has been such a grrrreat friend and I pray to Allah to give him blessings and happiness in this life as well as the hereafter.

And I will end this entry with a good reminder for myself especially:

We are all travelers in this world. Therefore travel wisely so u will reach you destination safely.

Allah knows the best ^^

Enough

Assalamualaikum...

Life is a journey, indeed. You may not get the things that you need NOW, but you will get it along the way somehow.

And along this journey, I have learnt to be strong on the outside. Yes, it is just the outside. Cause my inner self is just for me to know. I may show or express it sometimes...

Now I think that I've had enough. I don't want him anymore. I don't want to get involve with any of their stories. And I knew that she does really want him. Really really want, to the extreme, I think.

So let them be. I have try to help and did my part. The rest is up to them.

Don't tell me anything. I don't wanna know. Thank you.

Opinion

Assalamualaikum...

Today, my old friend invited me to have dinner with her. So I agreed to it.

During the dinner, I asked her: what if I be close with someone who already have a special person?

Then she said: "Well if it was me, I wouldn't be close to that guy anymore. Coz I could understand how the special girl would feel. Cause that is the principle in my life. I do not want to do bad coz I do not want others to do it to me."

I kinda disagree with her. Oh well, that is her opinion after all...

She does not understand my situation, therefore she can say whatever she wants.

As for me, I will continue to contact with him ONLY if he contact me first. If not, then I will shall proceed with my own life.

I do not want to hurt anybody. Sincerely, I am too tired of all these. So just keep swimming... Just keep swimming...

Unexpected

Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh

"Life is full of surprises, indeed..."

Last night, I received a text message:
"fadiaaaah... Ko free? Jom jalan2... Hehehe"

And we met, have a chat. It was my wonderful night ever. Thank u, W ^^

Sepi

Assalamualaikum...

Sekadar sedikit luahan tanpa suara... Enjoyzzzz....

Sepi itu datang lagi

Menyapaku sendirian

Kali ini ia datang

Membawa kenangan-kenangan lama

Sepi berbicara

Menyuruhku kembali pada zaman itu

Duduk terdiam

Melihat kenangan-kenangan itu

Diri bertanya

Ada apa dengan kenangan itu?

Sepi berkata

Kerana padanya tersembunyi pengajaran

Kerana padanya tercipta persahabatan

Kerana padanya terselit keikhlasan

Diri berkata

Tetapi bukankah kita di suruh

Untuk melupakan kenangan itu?

Kita di suruh untuk pandang ke hadapan

Dan bukan ke belakang

Sepi berkata

Ya, tidak salah katamu

Tetapi memandang ke belakang juga

Dapat mengajar kita

Untuk lebih berhati-hati

Dan jangan berputus asa

Sepi menyambung

Diri ini juga tercipta

Bukan sekadar untuk masa hadapan

Tetapi diri turut membawa bersama

Kenangan-kenangan silam

Kerana itu diri akan di persoalkan

Ketika pertemuan dengan Tuhan

Diri mengakui kebenaran sepi

Ternyata kedatangannya

Membawa rahmat

Dan ketenangan

Terima kasih, sepi

Cinta & Sayang

Assalamualaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh

Fadiah jarang menulis tentang cinta & sayang. Bukan bermakna Fadiah tidak merasainya. Tetapi ia dirasai setiap hari.

Pada setiap hembusan nafas, pada setiap degupan jantung, pada setiap pandangan mata, pada setiap nikmat yang dihadiahkan, pada setiap peluang yang diberikan = Tanda cinta dari Pencipta.

Pada segala perhatian, pada segala nasihat yang diberikan, pada setiap keperluan dari segi pakaian dan material yang disediakan, pada setiap waktu yang diluangkan bersama, pada setiap leteran yang diluahkan, pada setiap doa yang dipanjatkan = Tanda cinta dari ibu dan ayah.

Pada setiap pertanyaan "Fadiah sehat?", pada setiap senyuman dan tawa, pada setiap nasihat yang dikongsi bersama, pada setiap teguran yang diberikan, pada setiap doa yang dihulurkan, pada setiap masalah yang diluahkan = Tanda cinta dari teman.

Kesimpulannya, hidup kita ini sentiasa dipenuhi dengan Cinta. Cuma mungkin kita kurang bersyukur atau tidak puas dengan cinta yang diberikan. Wallahu'alam.

{And remember! your Lord caused to be declared (publicly): "If you are grateful, I will add more (favours) unto you; But if you show ingratitude, truly My punishment is terrible indeed.} ~14:7~

Dunia Yang Indah

Assalamualaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh...

Orang kata, "This world will appear on HOW we view it from our eyes."

Dan Fadiah dapati kata-kata itu sedikit sebanyak ada kebenarannya.

Bahkan ianya bukan hanya untuk dunia sahaja, tetapi untuk bagaimana kita melalui kehidupan di dunia ini. Sebab itu lah, Fadiah sedaya-upaya memikirkan hal-hal yang baik sahaja.

Tetapi di dalam memikirkan hal-hal yang baik sahaja, Fadiah tidak dapat lari dari ujian. Satu persatu ujian Fadiah tempuhi... Kadangkala rasa seperti hendak menyerah, tapi jauh di sudut hati ini, ada suara kecil mengatakan "Teruskan lah walaupun nyawamu sudah sampai ke penghujungnya..."

Dan sempena bulan yang mulia ini, Alhamdulillah, Fadiah di beri kekuatan untuk mengharungi ujian tersebut. Bukan mahu lari dari masalah, tetapi sedang mengatur strategi serta mengumpul semangat supaya boleh berhadapan dengan masalah itu.

Awak mesti tertanya kan... Masalah apakah itu? Besar sangat ke masalah Fadiah ni?

Hehehehe...

Sebenarnya, masalah ni berpunca dari diri Fadiah sendiri. Diri yang terlalu berkeyakinan hingga ke langit, tetapi apa bila sudah tahu betapa rendahnya langit itu, mula lah turun ke bumi sedikit demi sedikit...

Alamak....metafora yang diberikan terlalu tinggi la pulak...

Baiklah, terus terang Fadiah katakan, masalah ini adalah masalah dengan diri sendiri. Pembaca-pembaca yang setia pasti ingat pada W kaaaaan?

Bagaimana Fadiah ada hati padanya... betapa Fadiah sayangkan dia... Kadangkala rasakan hanya dia sahaja lah yang faham Fadiah....

Tetapi dua tahun lepas, sesuatu terjadi. Fadiah dapat tahu dia sudah berpunya. Ye, sekali lagi di ulangi, dia SUDAH BERPUNYA. Walaupun Fadiah tidak dengar dari mulut W sendiri, tapi Fadiah tahu hamba ALLAH yang memberitahu itu tidak berbohong.

Oleh itu, sekarang ini Fadiah sedang mengumpul kekuatan untuk melepaskan dia. Kali ini, Fadiah tekad. Biarlah dia bahagia dengan pilihan hatinya. Dan memang itu yang Fadiah inginkan untuknya.

Tentang hati Fadiah ini, tak perlu risau. Kerana terus terang Fadiah katakan bahawa Fadiah memang seorang perempuan yang pemalu. Sukar hendak meluahkan isi hati. Bukan takut, tetapi malu.

Jadi cukuplah W tahu bahawa Fadiah menghargai tidak lebih dari seorang kawan. Walaupun sebenarnya tidak.

Tidak mengapa. Setiap ketentuan ALLAH itu PASTI ada hikmah di sebaliknya. Dan itu, Fadiah PERCAYA.

Salam Dunia

Assalamualaikum WArahmatullahi WAbarakatuh

Ye, Fadiah kembali.

Di atas permintaan seseorang.

Fadiah akan kembali meneruskan kata-kata, cerita serta coretan yang tanpa suara ini.

Tapi kali ini ada sedikit kelainan.

Fadiah akan menggunakan Bahasa Melayu yang sempurna bagi menyampaikan cerita-cerita ini.

Ini adalah hasil dari pembacaan buku Bahasa Melayu.

Fadiah amat cintakan Bahasa Melayu.

Oleh itu, Fadiah tidak mahu kehilangan benda-benda yang Fadiah cintakan.

Tetapi sekiranya, ada cerita yang menarik dalam Bahasa Inggeris, Fadiah tidak akan menukarkannya walau sedikit pun.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -- - - - -- - - - -

Baiklah, sekarang ini Ramadhan muncul lagi. Oleh itu, Fadiah ingin mengambil kesempatan untuk mengajak bersama-sama lah kita menanam kerajinan untuk melakukan solat Terawih.

Kerana HANYA pada bulan Ramadhan ini saja, kita akan dapat melakukannya. Kalau pada bulan-bulan lain, hanyalah solat-solat sunat nawafil yang lain.

Kemalasan harus di lawan, bukan di ikutkan. Oleh itu, sambil berpuasa ini, marilah kita berperang dengan sifat kemalasan yang tertanam pada diri kita. Lakukan segalanya kerana Allah, insyaAllah akan mendatangkan hasil yang terbaik.

Fadiah pun kalau sudah malas, memang na'uzubillah. Ibarat seperti mengharapkan makanan disuapkan ke dalam mulut. Sungguh-sungguh kemalasannya. Jadi, sama-sama kita menuju ke medan perang. Bukan untuk memerangi musuh manusia, tetapi musuh yang ada dalam diri kita sendiri, iaitu Encik Kemalasan.

Ingat ye, jiwa yang suci datangnya dari akal yang bersih dan keimanan yang mantap!

Maju terus. Kheir InsyaAllah! :)

Goodbye world!

Assalamualaikum...

Dear readers, this may be my last entry. Therefore, I would like apologize for all those things that I have said before. Some I did mean it, but some I dont (due to the instability of my hormones)

Hope that all of you will stay healthy always. Do take care & remember me in your prayers.

May Allah bless all of us. Ameen.

هذا القلب

Assalamualaikum semua...

First time letak title dalam Bahasa Arab... Hehe.

Fadiah cuma nak cakap yang Fadiah tengah sedih. Tak tahu la kenapa. Harap doakan ye~

Semua tentang Blog ini

Assalamualaikum semua~

Fadiah ni memang suka membebel. Kadang2 tu yang bermanfaat, tapi kadang2 ntah apa-apa yang merepek-kerepek. Orang yang paling tahan dengan bebelan Fadiah ialah W. Tu pun kadang dia tak kuasa nak layan. Thanks ar beb! heeeee~

Semenjak takde mukaBuku ni, rasa semakin banyak masa kosong yang terluang kat dunia maya ni. Kalau dulu, asal masok internet je, tempat pertama yang disinggah ialah mukaBuku. Dari situ kan, macam2 benda kita boleh buat. Selain dari mencantikkan 'profile page' kita dengan meletakkan segala informasi tentang diri kita, kita juga boleh letakkan gambar2 yang kita nak orang tahu. Then kita boleh kepo-kepo concern, pegi tengok profile kawan-kawan kita, profile sedara-mara kita, profile artis-artis yang kita suke, dan tak terkecuali orang-orang yang takde kena-mengena dengan kita.

Dari situ la, banyak masa yang terbuang, sampaikan kadang-kadang Fadiah rasa: "Eh,cepatnye masa ni berlalu....padahal baru masuk mukaBuku aje..." So sebab tu la blog ni terabai....

Kesiankan encik Blog ni...tapi tu dulu la. zaman Jahiliah abad yang ke seribu tahun yang lepas. Sekarang ni, dah zaman nampak cahaya sikit-sikit, so blog ni dah terjaga semula.

Selain daripada yang meng'update' blog ini, Fadiah pun suke lompat-lompat blog, atau omputih kata 'blog-hopping'...Haaaaahh, macam gitu la bunyi nyeee....

Sebab kan, kadang-kadang otak ni ketandusan idea untuk menaip...Fadiah ni tak pandai sangat nak bercerita. True story....tapi kan, bila dah buat lompatan dari blog ke blog, idea tetiba hinggap di bahagian dalam kepala yang bernama otak. heeeee~ dan Fadiah sangat-sangat la suke baca blog-blog yang dari Msia especially...sebab Fadiah perasan orang msia ni pandai bercerita. atau pun mungkin orang-orang s'pore ni selalunya blog dalam bahasa omputih & bahasa omputih kita ni tak sehebat macam orang-orang s'pore lain. huhuhu...

Dan lagi satu yang Fadiah perasan, dorang kreatif sangat-sangat & ada banyak masa! Tak macam kita ni, yang senantiasa busy. Dari blog, dorang boleh buat business, boleh jual-beli benda...macam-macam la...Nanti Fadiah nak try jugak macam gitu. Tapi bukan sekarang... Tunggu bila masa Fadiah dah jadi surirumah sepenuh masa ye! heeeeeeeeeee~

Course-Law

Assalamualaikum wr. wbt.

Sekarang ni Fadiah kat tempat keje, duduk sorang2, tunggu kawan2 sampai...Hari ni tak tahu nape tapi Fadiah rasakan semangat yang terlebih2...hehehe

Semalam ada course WSQ (Work Skill Qualification) kat Wisma. Sampai dalam pukul 1030, course start pukul 11. And obviously that I am early. So duduk2 melepak dgn Ain @ Zuhri. Then bebual2, tetiba dia ajak pegi majlis Haida pada hari Sabtu ni. Dia nak amek dari Cordova. Wuhuuuu~ Hepi la...hehe

Ok, dalam pukul 11, course pun bermula. Kita belajar ttg topic non-verbal communication, ttg teamwork, ttg safety for the early childhood etc... Basically, most of the topic, Fadiah dah penah belajar masa zaman di UIA dulu. Kalau nak cakap ingat 100% tu memang mustahil la kan... & Alhamdulillah dengan adanya course ni, Fadiah dapat 'refresh' semula ilmu2 yang telah ada...

Dan masa course tu, Ustazah Fadilah asek gunakan Fadiah sebagai contoh je...Tanak duduk depan lagi....tapi kalau duduk belakang nanti tak nampak pulak.. al-Maklumlah, kita ni kan kecik-molek...heeeee~ And one more thing, Ustazah Fadilah gerek! Kita suke cara dia ajar... suka sangat2.... Tak boring sebab dia mesti selitkan cerita2 yg best dlm pembelajaran dia...so the best! =)

ok la, nak kena siapkan Benda2 nak ngajar untuk malam ni, hari sabtu & ahad nanti. Kita jumpa lagi. insyaAllah!

Muka-yang-dah-takde-buku

Assalamualaikum kepada Pembaca-pembacaku yang setia =)

Dengan ini, Fadiah ingin memaklumkan bahawa Fadiah sudah tidak ada Facebook lagi! Weeeee~

Antara sebab2 mengapa Fadiah sudah delete Fb adalah:

1. Masa tu terbaca artikel dari Suhaib Webb tentang keburukan dan kesan FB & Fadiah terasa sedikit sebanyak terkena pada diri ini. Memang mula-mula tanak delete... Ingat nak senyapkan mcm gitu je....tapi jari ni al-maklumlah, kadang tu gatal, so tertekan2 mouse & masuklah dlm FB.

2. Sebab ada orang-orang yang tak kenal, abeh add jadi friend. tak accept nanti kecik ati pulak.

3. Pastu banyak sgt orang jual barang online yg nak post macam-macam benda, yang membuatkan Fadiah rimas. Huhu

'Ala kulli hal, FB tu tak mendatangkan keuntungan & tidak mendatangkan kemudharatan. Ada & tak ada, sama aje. So mulai sekarang, kalau sesapa yang nak contact Fadiah, pandai2 la cari Fadiah je. Fadiah maseh ada twitter & 4sq lagi...Hp pun ada. So contact je la. Antara nak dengan tanak je. Nak seribu daya, tanak beribu-ribu dalih k...

Ok la...tu je nak citer. One more thing, Fadiah kagum dgn orang2 yang takde FB. And still they can survive. Yet nobody knows. heeeee~

In some Niya

Assalamualaikum

Oleh kerana mata ni tak blh nak lelap, maka otak ni pun bercadang untuk menggerakkan jari untuk meng'update blog ini.

Tapi sebelum tu, Fadiah nak kebas2 sikit abok dari blog yg sudah agak lama ditinggalkan. *tiup kuat2 mcm wolf yg dlm citer 3 little pigs* heeeee~

Ok, sekarang ni Fadiah rasa nak menulis blog dlm Bahasa melayu dgn tetap. Kalau ada English pun, selit2 aje la. Org zaman skrg ni faham mcm2 bahasa kan... Especially pembaca2 blog ni. Mesti golongan yg bijak pandai :)

Alrite, nak citer ttg keje Fadiah yg skrg ni. Mmg banyak sgt keje tapi tak tahu nape, fadiah rasa still rilek. Sampaikan W nak mintak tlg Fadiah tlg dia buat smthg pun, fadiah maseh blh tolong. (itu pun kalau dia jadi la kan...)

Ok, mari kita senaraikan schedule keje yg dah semakin menimbun ni k:

Isnin: 11am - 6 pm.
Selasa: 11am - 2 pm (kalau ada course)
10am - 12 pm (ajar nenek ngaji, kalau takde course)
6 pm - 8 pm (private ngaji @ rumah orang)
Rabu: 2 pm - 9 pm.
Khamis: 12 pm - 5 pm.
8 pm - 9 pm (private ngaji)
Jumaat: 2 pm - 930 pm.
Sabtu: 915 am - 430 pm.
Ahad: 745 am - 330 pm.

So awak tengok la betapa banyak nya masa yg fadiah keje.& fadiah kurang stress. (note: KURANG) Seriously. Alhmdulillah~

Fadiah kena buat lesson plan utk class pra-skolah & 5 RP utk tahun ni.
Mmg dah ckp dgn diri yang tahun ni nak kumpul duit banyak2, so tahun depan, atau tahun depan lagi blh kawen. InsyaAllah...
Apa2 pun, kita merancang, TUHAN yang menentukannya ye, kawan-kawan ;)

Ok la, mata ni dah menunjukkan tanda2 yg dia Akan tutup jap lagi. So selamat pagi semua & slmt menunaikan solat Fajr!

Terima kaseh krn sudi membaca. Maaflah sbb Bahasa ntah pape ntah... Adios amigos.
Wassalam...

Kehilangan Yang Dirasai

Sebelum ni, Fadiah selalu kata pada diri, Takpe...walaupun W takde, Fadiah blh jadi kuat.

Tapi sekarang ni, bila W dah takde, Fadiah betol2 rasa kehilangan dia. Fadiah betol2 rasa hilang tempat mengadu, hilang tempat nak berkongsi...

Memang Fadiah akui yang Fadiah ada ramai kawan. Tapi yang rapat cuma segelintir saja. Dan yang betol2 Fadiah percaya, kurang dari 6 org. So bila fikir2 balik, buat apa lah kawan ramai2 tapi yang kita perlukan cuma berapa org saje? Sebab tu skrg ni, Fadiah dah kurang buat kawan baru. Cuma yang ada, kawan2 baru di tempat kerja saja. Dan kalau tempat kerja, kerja saje la jawapannya.

Kalau masa Rasulullah s.a.w. kehilangan orang2 yg tersayang, Baginda turut juga merasa sedih. Jadi, macam tipulah kalau Fadiah kata yg Fadiah tak sedih bila W takde. Tapi kesedihan tu yang membuatkan Fadiah kuat.

Kadang2 Fadiah hargai W lebih mcm seorg kawan. Kadang2 Fadiah hargai W lebih dari yang sepatutnya. Fadiah pun tahu yg kadang2 mesti W rimas. Maafkan Fadiah ye. Fadiah tak boleh tipu perasaan ni.

Kalau W baca ni, Fadiah cuma nak tahu yang Fadiah rindu nak cerita2 dgn W, rindu nak dgr cerita W, lawak2 dari W...mcm2 lagi la....

Semoga kerinduan ini berpanjangan & menambahkan lagi perasaan kasih sayang antara kita. InsyaAllah...

Ya Allah, jaga W baik2 ye. Fadiah sayang dia.

Fly

Fly away and spread your wings

And if you shall return

Then you are mine & I am all yours :)

ConneCTioN

Recently, Something happened. It made realized that I have been talking toooo much.

It made me sad that I almost cried every night.

But then, something strikes me.

Crying will not change anything. Therefore, I have to upgrade and change. No more having fun. coz this WORLDly life is NOT for fun. you MAY have fun, but there's limit.

I began to contemplate and questioning myself.

I realized that I have been such a terrible servant. I forget from where I came from and thus, forget the purpose of my life.

Like a big rock. It hits me. *ouch*

Then, I started to feel calm and try to implies the 'Redha' word into my life. and Alhamdulillah, it DID help me.

Semua benda di dalam hidup telah ditentukan. Ajal, rezki & jodoh. Yang penting, kita kena usaha. Walau bagaimana pun, kita kena ingat yang menTADBIR itu, bukan kita. Redha, sabar & syukur.

JiKalau sesuatu itu sudah diTETAPkan untuk kamu, jika beribu-ribu orang yang datang menghalang, kamu pasti akan TERIMA juga.

Tetapi jika ia bukan untuk kamu, walaupun tiada orang yang menghalang, kamu TIDAK akan dapat juga.

Just pray for the best. coz ALLAH knows what best for us. If he is the best for you, he will definitely gonna come to you.

Berpisah di dunia ini hanya sementara. Kalau bertemu lagi, Alhamdulillah. Jika tidak, kita bertemu di syurga nanti ye. InsyaAllah.

Fortunate is he

Fortunate is he

Who remembers Allah abundantly

Worldly distractions cannot mildly sway

His thoughts of Allah and Judgment Day

Righteous is he

Who bows to one he cannot see

Whose deeds do not spring without Bismillah

Fulfilling his tasks with perfect Taqwa

Devout is he

Who supplicates to Allah intensively

Whose heart is merciful, tender and kind

His gaze on life after, this world behind

Prosperous is he

Who spends his wealth on the poor and needy

Who speaks a kind word to kin and neighbour

Ever-grateful for Allah’s favors

Guided is he

Who prays Salaat with punctuality

Early morning, Tahajjud he prays

For Allah’s pleasure and nearness he craves

God fearing is he

Who contemplates death early

Who starts as he sees his demise

And tears fall over wasted sacrifice

Blessed is he

Who sings Allah’s praises fervently

Blessed be all of Allah’s slaves

Allah’s mercy be with them always

Testing....

Ok ni testing jerrr...

First time update blog melalui iPhone & Fadiah merasakan yg misi ini berjaya! Weeee~

Oleh kerana dah berjaya, mari kita update sedikit ttg perkembangan diri ini yang sentiasa berkembang... Hehe

Sekarang ni, Fadiah sedang dalam keadaan yg kerja - kerja & kerja... My career is my life. Ada org tanya, Tanak kawen ke? fadiah kata "Mestilah Naaaak... Benda tu semua along the way...yang penting skrg ialah upgrade diri fadiah. Nak belajar mcm2 & kawan ramai2... "

& lagi satu kan, Fadiah tak suke BRAPE nak bebual pasal orang.

So Kalau awak2 yg diluar sana, nak bebual dgn Fadiah, please avoid talking or gossiping about others. Fadiah tahu benda ni susah sbb fadiah pun penah buat.

Tapi skrg ni, nak Cuba kurangkan sedikit Demi sedikit. Nnt lama2 jd bukit.

Jadi, sama2 lah kita meningkatkan diri utk menjadi insan yang lebih mulia. Ameen. InsyaAllah :)

Ingat ingat ye...

"Kiasan hidup ibarat roda. Kekadang di atas, di bawah, di atas semula. Redha & Syukur atas kehendakNya. Itu lah tanda kasih sayang kita..."

Kehidupan adalah sesuatu yang diluar jangkaan. Kadang2 kita dah plan baik2, kita nampak macam smooth aje...tapi in the end, terjadi sesuatu di luar jangkaan.

Masa tu la kita rasa nak putus asa. Kita rasa yang kita ni takde kuasa nak control semua tu. Baru la kita sedar yang langit tu tinggi atau rendah. Baru lah kita nak sedar yang ada LEBIH berkuasa.

Sebab tu kita selalu di ingatkan supaya berhati2.

Kita juga di ingatkan agar jangan buat orang, kalau tanak orang buat kita.

Sebab tu memang fitrah kehidupan. Benda baik di balas baik. Begitulah sebaliknya. Kalau nak orang buat baik dgn kita, buatlah baik dgn orang. Kebaikan atau kejahatan mesti bermula dengan diri kita dulu.

Kenapa begitu ye?

Kerana ALLAH itu Maha Adil.

Tapi kadang kalau kita buat baik, orang tak balas baik pun.... Kadang2 Fadiah pun rasa macam nak give up tapi tetap teruskan bila nak buat kebaikan ni...tapi, Fadiah teringat...

Disini lah sebenarnya ALLAH nak uji kita. DIA nak tengok kita ni buat baik kerana apa.

Kerana nak balasan ke?

Atau kerana DIA?

So....siapa kata senang nak buat baik?

Tapi, jangan sampai tanak buat baik pula ye =)

Selamat ber'amal ;)

Practi-call

Practice what you've preached, Fadiah. Practice what you preached...

It is undeniable that it is MORE easier to preach than to practice. However, Islam is the other way round. Its emphasized more on the practical aspect, rather than the theoretical part. But, it does NOT mean that the theoretical part is not important. Don't get me wrong k...

Ok...after nearly a month, I worked in this new place, I started to realize that I need to change. Really. A change.

I have been wronged. And sometimes keep on doing the wrong things. As if, there is no ending to it. And keep on giving the same excuse: "I am just a normal human. Human make mistakes."

But somehow, when the same reason is given over and over again, does it still forgivable?

To human, some may NOT. but to ALLAH, HE is the MOST Merciful.

Earlier today, I got an observation about how I conducted my classroom. It is really challenging coz it is my first time. For these whole years of teaching, NO ONE have NEVER ever observed me.

And Alhamdulillah, the observation went well, though the class is a bit hectic. I need to learn on classroom management. REally.

Despite that, I really had fun during teaching today, for both KBM1 classes.

owh, before that, just a brief info: I have to teach 6 classes for this year, which are:

KBPS2 - KBK1 - KBK4 - KBK6 - 2 classes of KBM1. (The KB stands for Kelas Bimbingan)

At first, I tot it was a lot & afraid that I couldnt make it. But then I tell myself, why dont give it a try. There will be no harm in trying, rite?

Ok, back to the teaching part. I taught about the topic: IMAN. I tell them about the basic tenets of faith, its link with Islam, the importance of faith etc. I added in some stories that are related to faith...

And I also mentioned some part about parents. And during this part, I can see that their eyes started to fill with tears...Bila Fadiah dah perasan mcm gini je, cepat2 tukar topic. hehehe. Tanak la class yg best2 bertukar jadi class sedih...

So, after all the teaching was done, I did some self-evaluation on myself. Then, like a big heavy rock, it hits me. Really hard.

I realized that I have been doing more preaching, rather than practice. I advised my students to be a good muslim, but I did not strive my best to show good examples. I even think that being a good muslim is boring. To be good is not boring, but to be typical is boring. heeeeeee~

Thus, at this very moment, YOU, as my readers, would be the witness to know that I am going to do some amendments on MYSELF.

So just wait & see. Doakan saya ye. Jazakumullah kheir.

owh-Kay

Every moment thanks Allah, Every second remembers HIM =)

Im kinda happy rite now, therefore I blog. hehehe

Ok, here are some updates on my lurvely Life:

My new Career: As an Ustazah. Ok, this is a bit awkward. Bcoz jadi ustazah. Luckily most of my students called me 'Cikgu' rather than ustazah. hehe. Bukan tak suke, tapi lebih suke Cikgu ar....

One thing that I lurves the most about this job is the TIME. The duration of my werking time is not the usual one, like everyone else...& I heart it sooooo much!

Here is my new timing:

Mon & Wed: 11 am - 6 pm.

Tues: OFF DAY.

Thurs: 12 pm-5 pm.

Fri: 2.15 pm - 9.30 pm.

Sat: 9 am - 4.45 pm.

Sun: 7.45 am - 3.30 pm.

Can u see? My werking time is not like everyone else & the best part is that: I get to escape the PEAK HOURS!!!! Weeeee~ ALhamdulillah.....But somehow, there are NO MORE weekends for me. My NEW definition for weekend is: BUSY-never-end. HAHAHAHA....

But there is one thing about this new werk, which I find that it is a bit hard to swallow, is that the ENVIRONMENT. It is a really SOLEHAH environment. And when I said 'really', it means REALLY REALLY SUPER DUPER solehah. Ok, mayb Fadiah belum kenal dorg sgt. Sebab manusia kan, mesti ada kelemahan.... but then, dorg semua baik2, subhanallah laaaa.... Kawan2 SEBIJIK macam zaman maahad dulu...

And this is really CONTRADICTing with my previous environment.

And.... I find really hard to adapt with it. But somehow, I will TRY. Whatever it is; Just BE YOURSELF & you will be FINE. InsyaAllah~

"O Allah, please strengthen me with YOUR super-duper-mighty power" ;)

Ameen.

A Note

NOTE:

Kalau takde pape nak cakap, lebih baik diam k.

Tamo cakap pasal org, Fadiah. Allah tak suke. Kalau nak Allah suke, banyakkan zikir & buat kebaikan. Fadiah kan kata yang Fadiah nak cari keredhaan Allah...

So stay strong aite...

Love,

Yourself.

Countdown

I am hopeless when it comes to fashion.

"If life is so short..."

"If tomorrow never comes ..."

Don't you realize that there is always 'IF' in front of every sentences that are CERTAIN?

Now I realize it & times are running out. But thank u, LORD for making me realize the important things in life.

I have really learnt my mistakes & I have start my savings. And 3 months from now, I aim to save more than 3K. InsyaAllah. Do pray for me ya....really need ur duaa =)

And for all these time, I have been talking about marriage... I realize that I know NOTHING about it. All I know that I wanna get married, without knowing the REAL intention of doing it. I really need to learn a looot...!

Ive read this article about marriage & understand that it is not an easy journey. It is a journey which come with so many responsibilities. Therefore, I must get prepare & teach myself things that can please my future husband.

A slice from the article:

A marriage is based on:

Knowledge not looks,

Practice not preaching,

Forgiveness not anger,

Spiritual love not lust and compromise!

One should look for a person who

(1) Has love for Allah (SWT) and his Messenger

(2) Has knowledge of the deen (religion), and can act upon it

(3) can control his/her anger and another important and crucial factor that he/she be

(4) willing to compromise.

ALhamdulillah...After read it, I realize that life is short, therefore I wanna do the BEST that I can. I want to RENEW my relationship with my CReator... I really really do. It has been so long that I ignored HIM, I forget about HIM. How ignorant I am! I am so ashamed of myself as sumtimes it would really bring me down. However, Thanks to HIM again, for saving me, for showing me the way & for guiding me all these time...

Therefore, I will not let go of this chance. I wanna grab it & hold on to it tightly.

"If you Love ALLAH & do for HIS sake, everything will be fine." Kheir InsyaAllah.

Please spare a duaa for me. Jazakumullah kheir =)

SemileyDictioN

I am addicted to SMILE. Cant deny it.

For these few days, I have been collecting smiles from strangers. Sounds weird, rite? Hahaha. But that is the truth. I will go out everyday, then start to count for every smile that I received from strangers.

And for these 2 days, I had received about 20 smiles - mostly are from woman & makchix2 & about 2 like that are from guys (part ni terkejut ckit la...lelaki mana la nak senyum kat aku ni..huhu).

Owh FYI, I dont smile at guys but I can talk to strangers. And I dont smile every minute, but I do smile every MORNING, right after I woke up from my sleep.

There are a lot of benefits that we can get from smiling...And most of all, our Prophet has already encourage us to smile to our brothers & sisters as a charity. It has been mentioned in one of the Hadeeth:

The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said: “Charity is prescribed for each descendant of Adam every day the sun rises.” He was then asked: “From what do we give charity every day?” The Prophet answered: “The doors of goodness are many…enjoining good, forbidding evil, removing harm from the road, listening to the deaf, leading the blind, guiding one to the object of his need, hurrying with the strength of one’s legs to one in sorrow who is asking for help, and supporting the feeble with the strength of one’s arms–all of these are charity prescribed for you.” He also said: “Your smile for your brother is charity.” - Fiqh-us-Sunnah, Volume 3, Number 98

And some of the benefits are (thanks to about.com ):

1. Smiling Makes us Attractive

2. Smiling Changes our Mood

3. Smiling is contagious

4. Smiling Relieves Stress

5. Smiling Boosts Your Immune System.

(You can refer to the site for more benefits)

Soooo... what are u waiting for? (Plez insert colby & mizz nina song)

Put on a smile & it's FREE!!! =)

Bila Bersendirian

Bila bersendirian

Jangan rasa kesepian

Walau tanpa teman

Kita tetap diperhatikan

Dalam gelap atau terang

Ada mata yang sentiasa jaga

Melihat perlakuan dan rasa

Mencatat dosa atau pahala

Bila bersendirian

Jangan katakan 'aku sunyi'

Sebaliknya selalu bisikkan di dalam hati

Pada diriku sentiasa

Ada Pemerhati

Bila bersendirian

Teruji keikhlasan

Tanpa kejian atau pujian

Apakah terus ada kesetiaan

Berfikir dan berzikir

Dengan tulus kesunyian...

Petikan dari buku 'Siapa DIA di hatiku'

Rindu~

Ye, Fadiah rindu W.

Dia senyap je. Fadiah rindu nak bebual2 dgn dia mcm dulu. Rindu nak share2 story. The last time Fadiah msg dgn dia masa Fadiah minta tolong dia.

Dia baik sgt2. MasyaAllah.

Fadiah nak dia hepi & tenang selalu. "Ya Allah, jaga dia baik2 ye. Kurniakan dia seorang isteri yang baik ye. Coz he deserve it."

Fadiah rindu awak, W...

Ting Tong

That is the sound effect in my head rite now.

Got this HUGE problem & all bcoz of ME.

I know that I have been a very very bad girl. Dun wanna hear advice from my parents, always rebel, always do watever I like, always said things without thinking, always act emotionally etc...

and last nite, suddenly kakak said to me: "Diah, ibu nak pinjam duit ko dlm 1K +..."

I answered: "Diah mana ada duit banyak gitu.."

She said: "Abeh duit yang banyak2 dulu mana? Duit sepanjang ko keja dulu mana?"

I did not answer. And suddenly I realized *dum dum dum* (bunyi batu banyak2 jatoh, hempap kepala).... I have been spending soooo much & yet, I couldnt trace back where it has gone.

Luckily, I realized it NOW. And Alhamdulillah, I have wonderful friends such as the 2 Khadijaaats & W, helping me out.... THANK YOU A LOT. MAy Allah bless your kindness.

Kak Dijah is the one who will always hyped in helping me. Dia siap called & taught me on how to organize my saving efficiently. and always keep asking me if I am ok or not. Cute la ko, kak.

ALLAH tu kan MAHA PENYAYANG. When HE gives you trial, it is always mean to make you STRONGER than before.

Kadang2 best pulak bila ada ujian mcm ni sebab bagi Fadiah sedar yang langit tu tinggi atau rendah. Kalau tak nanti, lupa diri, lupa Tuhan... Untuk yang sesapa yang Fadiah ada hutang, Fadiah akan bayar semula jika ada rezeki ye.... Bayar MESTI bayar, cuma antara cepat atau lambat k... Fadiah tak suka nyusahkan org, but sometimes we are left with NO choice. Maaf sangat2 sbb terpaksa nyusahkan awak semua...

Fadiah doakan yang terbaik & Fadiah sayang semua, ok?

Saling doa-mendoakan ye...

2 cents

Had this heart-to-heart talk with my sister this morning.

She shared with me some of her experiences & adviced me on some of my attitude, which has to be changed.

Kakak said: "Dalam hidup ni kena banyak berkorban, Diah. Kita bukan hidup sorg. Ada orang2 di sekeliling kita yg hidup dgn kita. Sebab tu, sebelum buat apa2, pikir betol2. Ingat Allah, ingat ayah ibu. Diah kan bukan budak2 lagi. Dah dewasa."

I just smiled and nodded my head.

She continued: "Kakak bukan suruh Diah jadi macam kakak. Tapi sekurang2nya jadi lah diri Diah sendiri. Jangan ikot kawan. Jadi spt ikan, walaupun idop dalam air laut, tapi isi nya tetap tidak masin."

"Kadang2 kakak tengok Diah ni idop mcm dunia Diah sendiri. Cubalah open ckit. Kita idop berkeluarga, kena lah share2. Sekarang ni Diah blm kawen...nanti kalau dah kawen, kena banyak belajar. Bukan senang tau. Takkan la nak belajar bila dah kawen nanti. Kena la mula belajar dari sekarang. Jangan nak enjoy aje. Kita idop ni bukan selama2nya. sebab tu kena gunakan waktu yang diberikan sebaik2nya."

I cried. The tears cant be seen. Coz it is kept close inside my heart.

Bad Boys

Yummy! Hahaha

I just have this tendency to fall for bad boys....

They have something which will always make me like them...

Though they appear 'bad' & people might say that they are bad, but for me, I will try to UNDERSTAND them first, rather that believing in what others said.

ok la, nak continue tgk Lagenda Budak Setan. Fadiah tahu citer ni dah basi. huhu

Bulls Eye!!!

Hijau Kaler Feveret Rasulullah S.A.W =)

Ada orang kata "If you fail to plan, then you will plan to fail"

Ada jugak orang kata "Buat apa lah nak plan2 ni...buat aje laaaa..."

Dan ada jugak orang kata "Plan je. Kalau jadi, jadi la. Kalau tak, sudah. Tapi yang penting, tamo bilang orang sangat. Takot tak jadi. Nanti malu..."

Tapi sekarang ni, Fadiah pulak kata "Nak plan jugak. Kalau jadi, Alhamdulillah. Kalau tak, kita cuba cara lain pulak!"

Dan...Sempena tahun-yang-tak-berapa-baru sangat ni, Fadiah nak buat beberapa azam baru & 'renew' yang mana belum tercapai lagi. Antaranya adalah:

+NAk tambah dan mantapkan IMAN di hati. Kalau dulu, Fadiah selalu rasa, jadi solehah tu boring, tapi sekarang ni kita tanak jadi solehah, tapi nak jadi seorang hamba yang BAIK, taat & patuh kepada Tuannya. so whatever yang tak mendapat keredhaan Tuhan, agak2 mesti kita kurang suke la kan...Nak cuba tanamkan dalam diri rasa mcm gini. Sebab sekarang nak kejar keredhaan Tuhan, so pelan2 & sikit2 kena berubah. Biar lambat, asal selamat. Macam dalam citer si Kura-kura & si Arnab. Wlaupun Kura-kura lambat, akhirnya dia menang jugak. Alhamdulillah~

+Nak Nikah. Nak jadi seorang Isteri & Ibu yang penyayang. Actually benda ni tak berapa baru sgt. Kira ni listed as 'renew' la.... So kalau dah jumpa orang yang sesuai, yang sayang kita, yang sudi terima kita seadanya, maka kpak-bing-bing la tak lama lagi...heeeeeeeeeee~

Kalau tak, kita bring forward lagi to another year. Tapi kalau masanya sudah tiba, insyaAllah (please insert Maher Zain's InsyaAllah song) Sementara masih berusaha ni, kita tengah ikot course Introduction to Marriage Life. Lecturer dia: Ibu & Kakak kita. So far, yang dah belajar ni ialah cara2 nak handle baby....tukarkan pampers, mandikan dia, bagi dia makan, cara breastfeed dia & macam2 la... Pastu ada jugak cara2 nak buat keja rumah...mcm masak, cuci baju, kemas rumah....Tapi kita nak kena practice dalam susun2 barang, sbb kita ni unorganize sikit.. I am the Little Miss Messy. Heeeee~ So skrg ni tgh belajar untuk jadi lebih kemas & teratur =)

+Nak kurangkan lemak di badan. Nak amalkan gaya hidup sihat. As a Muslim, we should really take care of our well being. We should be aware of what we eat and consume. Bcoz from what we eat, will determine what we will become. So, mulai dari saat ini, tanak main makan sembarang je. Kalau dulu, masa pegi grocery shopping, main amek aje walaupun takde tanda halal. HEhehe.. Tapi skrg ni, nak kurangkan.

Pastu kita dah start alek jogging routine. Baru aje tadi pagi kita buat opening ceremony dia. Naseb baik ada Miss Yunita yg sudi jadi personal trainer kita. HEeeee~ Thank YOU!!!

+Nak refresh, revise & relearn. ok...GO!!!

+Nak save duit banyak2!!! Bukan sebab nak shopping. But i've learnt my previous lesson. Duit banyak2 jadi sikit sebab asek shopping je. So naseb baik skrg ni, my self-control dah reloaded. Kalau tak, pantang nampak benda2 cute sikit, nanti mesti nak beli. Lagipun, kalau banyak duit, nanti boleh bantu orang yang susah. & hopefully kita tidak diuji dengan kesenangan. Macam ada kata2: Lebih baik kita diuji dengan kesusahan dari diuji dengan kesenangan. Sebab bila kita susah, selalunya kita akan sedar. Tapi kalau senang, kita mudah lupa diri. Wallahu'alam.

Ingat ye...Insan yang cemerlang, datangnya dari akal, dengan jiwa yang tenang & hati yang mantap. Selamat beramal =)

And every single thing you ever did that bothered me, is every single thing I miss about you. Ya Allah, jaga dia baik2 ye.

...and yeah, I hurt him again.

Me and my stupid mouth. and not-think-before action.

All these happened bcoz I met him @ a wedding. Then I talked to him, he did replied. Just a short conversation. Then I saw him talking to his friends, very the shiok one. Not a really short conversation. I wish that 'they' were me. I wanna him to talk to me normally. I really really want to have that happy, funny, hilarious + sometimes serious conversation with him.

But I just do not know how to tell him that. Coz we could talk like almost anything in the SMS, but when in came face-to-face, we are speechless. or just a short conversation.

I do not know why. but whatever it is, there is always a reason or some sort of 'hikmah' behind everything that happened.

Behind every mysteries in this world, there lies ALLAH's power.

Kalau dia maafkan aku kali ni, aku agak dia ni mesti bukan manusia. Aku tabik spring betol ar...heeeee~

Shooting Bullets

Yeah it hurts. A lot. Really. An indescribable pain.

Last saturday, while waiting for my bro to check in for his flight @ the airport, my family members (+ my aunty) suddenly asked me about my job-searching-project. I told them that I just received a job offer as an Ustazah @ Cordova. I told them about the job info, with a happy tone in my voice.

But then, my sister said: "Ko amek pscyhology, and end up jadi ustazah? At the first place, kenapa amek psychology?"

Then I said: "Coz Im interested in human. I want to learn about human."

Then my aunty said: "Apply la keje as social worker ke..."

I answered: "Tapi Diah suka ngajar. I dun wanna b a counsellor."

My ibu said: "Apply la NIE. Jadi teacher @ government skool."

I replied: "But I dont like the system. Lagipun ngajar kat skola stress. I know that every job have their own level of stress. Tapi I dun wanna work in government skool."

My aunty asked: "Then how much do they pay you?"

I asnwered: "Hmmm around SGD..... Tak banyak sgt, tapi ok la..."

My aunty said: "They asked you to work for 6 days & paid you like that?! You have a degree tau. Dont underestimate your capabilities. You can get around SGD1800+ if you work at the NON muslim company. "

I anwered: "Ok, I'll try la."

That is how I ended the conversation. My mind is too weak to handle all those bullets. and I did not prepare for it. bcoz I am too happy to get a job. After all those emails of resume, the stupid interviews, I finally get hired. Alhamdulillah.

But now, the happiness has been covered with bullet holes that was shoot to me through peoples' mouth. I do not blame them as they always have the right to express their opinion.

What I do not understand is that why they COULD NOT even be happy with MY DECISION?

Do they think that I did not understand what life is all about?

Do they really know what I want?

Do they think that they know what is the best for me?

I know that they want the best for me and do not want me to suffer. But I want to try. So if I fall, at least I HAVE ALREADY try.

And I also know that all those 'bullets' are just opinions. After all, it is MY LIFE. I am the one who take the step and make the decision. Therefore, I will be responsible for now on. InsyaAllah.

Takpelah....

I have this typical mindset of 'takpelaaaa'

Apa orang nak buat kat kita, takpelaaaa... yang penting, kita tak buat org. MAybe saya tak betol. Saya kena betolkan diri saya.

ok bye!

Thank u, Allah

After all these years passed, I am still alive & blessed with so many wonderful people around me. Thank you, Allah... for all the blessings and guidance.

This post is especially dedicated to those who are close and dearest to me.

*My Family - Sometimes I may not know how to express the feeling that I felt. But you guys are my inspiration. Ayah & ibu has been kind and patient with all my nonsense and weird behavior. They have been giving me all kind of advices and tolerate with my rudeness. Sometimes I feel that I am not really a good daughter. but I am TRYING to be one. InsyaAllah.

Kakak is always the one who taught me and shared with me stories, excellent tips and ideas. I have learnt a lot from her without she realizing it. I learnt how to be more patient, calm and strict at the same time.

My little BIG brother. Though we might talk all the time (coz sometimes we are too busy with our own life), but he is always there in my heart. I love him that I want him to grow and learn how to be responsible and good young man. and now, yes... he has grown sooo much. SOmetimes I admired his courage to work as much as he can. Hope all best for you, young man!

*My 3 awesome Girlfrens: The 2 Khadijah(s) and Noneng - We have been friend since the Maahad era. heeee~ And we have gone thru many things together. After the maahad era, we thought that we are going our own ways, but we stick together though we are far apart. Yes, distance has always been a problem for us. Unfortunately, it is NOT a barrier which keep us apart. Sorry distance, I might say that YOU LOSE. Coz our heart are not connected thru distance, but it is connected thru duaa. Like kak Dijah always said: "Kita kan kawan...so mestilah kena saling doa-mendoakan..." =) You girls has been with me thru all my life. Thank you for all the advices and courage that you have shared with me.

*My 3 great superGirls: Bluefairy, Yunita & Fa - I know them during my IIUM era. They are very very nice and will always be there for me. I can share almost anything with them. And they also very the giler-giler, just like me.

*W - He is the one and only my-other-gender-friend. And he has been stick with me for like 4 years together and still counting....insyaAllah. He has been tolerating with my nonsense and emo2 feeling and can also be a great friend to share ideas and thoughts. We do quarrel, then go silent for like a period of time, then I will go back to him again. coz I like him the way he likes me & love him the just the way he loves me too =) I would always want the best for him and whatever that make him happy. If by giving the world would make him happy, then I will give it. (falsampah nah aku ni) Hahahaha

*Ayoosh - She is my 2nd cousin a.k.a my partner in crime. We went thru skool together, then get closer during our tertiary period. She has always been listening to my rants and we will be each other 'back-up' system. hehehe.

There are also many others who has touch my life and help me grow as who I am rite now. When you starts to count your blessings, you will not be able to stop counting it coz it is endless. Therefore, always Count your blessings when you are in difficult times so you know that blessings are much more that hardship.

I am the type of person who do not know how to express my feeling thru talking, therefore I write & act. But some might not understand and they will get the wrong idea. But I dont blame them. After all, we are humans. And we make mistakes. Life is a journey of discovery & learning. Therefore, I am learning to understand you and the other way round. LOVE, RESPECT & TRUST. Those are my principles in every relationship that I have.

Saling doa-mendoakan ye =)

"Ya Allah, aku sayang mereka semua. Lindungilah mereka & sayangilah mereka sepertimana mereka menyayangiku. Limpahkanlah rahmat & kasih sayang Mu ke atas ikatan ini supaya ianya sentiasa mekar & subur. Bimbinglah kami sekiranya kami tersesat & jadikanlah kami di kalangan hamba2Mu yang bersyukur. aku ingin bertemu di syurgaMu nanti. Allahumma Ameen."