Saturday, January 8, 2011

2 cents

Had this heart-to-heart talk with my sister this morning.

She shared with me some of her experiences & adviced me on some of my attitude, which has to be changed.

Kakak said: "Dalam hidup ni kena banyak berkorban, Diah. Kita bukan hidup sorg. Ada orang2 di sekeliling kita yg hidup dgn kita. Sebab tu, sebelum buat apa2, pikir betol2. Ingat Allah, ingat ayah ibu. Diah kan bukan budak2 lagi. Dah dewasa."

I just smiled and nodded my head.

She continued: "Kakak bukan suruh Diah jadi macam kakak. Tapi sekurang2nya jadi lah diri Diah sendiri. Jangan ikot kawan. Jadi spt ikan, walaupun idop dalam air laut, tapi isi nya tetap tidak masin."

"Kadang2 kakak tengok Diah ni idop mcm dunia Diah sendiri. Cubalah open ckit. Kita idop berkeluarga, kena lah share2. Sekarang ni Diah blm kawen...nanti kalau dah kawen, kena banyak belajar. Bukan senang tau. Takkan la nak belajar bila dah kawen nanti. Kena la mula belajar dari sekarang. Jangan nak enjoy aje. Kita idop ni bukan selama2nya. sebab tu kena gunakan waktu yang diberikan sebaik2nya."

I cried. The tears cant be seen. Coz it is kept close inside my heart.


Thursday, January 6, 2011

Bad Boys

Yummy! Hahaha

I just have this tendency to fall for bad boys....

They have something which will always make me like them...

Though they appear 'bad' & people might say that they are bad, but for me, I will try to UNDERSTAND them first, rather that believing in what others said.

ok la, nak continue tgk Lagenda Budak Setan. Fadiah tahu citer ni dah basi. huhu

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Bulls Eye!!!

Hijau Kaler Feveret Rasulullah S.A.W =)



Ada orang kata "If you fail to plan, then you will plan to fail"

Ada jugak orang kata "Buat apa lah nak plan2 ni...buat aje laaaa..."

Dan ada jugak orang kata "Plan je. Kalau jadi, jadi la. Kalau tak, sudah. Tapi yang penting, tamo bilang orang sangat. Takot tak jadi. Nanti malu..."

Tapi sekarang ni, Fadiah pulak kata "Nak plan jugak. Kalau jadi, Alhamdulillah. Kalau tak, kita cuba cara lain pulak!"

Dan...Sempena tahun-yang-tak-berapa-baru sangat ni, Fadiah nak buat beberapa azam baru & 'renew' yang mana belum tercapai lagi. Antaranya adalah:

+NAk tambah dan mantapkan IMAN di hati. Kalau dulu, Fadiah selalu rasa, jadi solehah tu boring, tapi sekarang ni kita tanak jadi solehah, tapi nak jadi seorang hamba yang BAIK, taat & patuh kepada Tuannya. so whatever yang tak mendapat keredhaan Tuhan, agak2 mesti kita kurang suke la kan...Nak cuba tanamkan dalam diri rasa mcm gini. Sebab sekarang nak kejar keredhaan Tuhan, so pelan2 & sikit2 kena berubah. Biar lambat, asal selamat. Macam dalam citer si Kura-kura & si Arnab. Wlaupun Kura-kura lambat, akhirnya dia menang jugak. Alhamdulillah~

+Nak Nikah. Nak jadi seorang Isteri & Ibu yang penyayang. Actually benda ni tak berapa baru sgt. Kira ni listed as 'renew' la.... So kalau dah jumpa orang yang sesuai, yang sayang kita, yang sudi terima kita seadanya, maka kpak-bing-bing la tak lama lagi...heeeeeeeeeee~
Kalau tak, kita bring forward lagi to another year. Tapi kalau masanya sudah tiba, insyaAllah (please insert Maher Zain's InsyaAllah song) Sementara masih berusaha ni, kita tengah ikot course Introduction to Marriage Life. Lecturer dia: Ibu & Kakak kita. So far, yang dah belajar ni ialah cara2 nak handle baby....tukarkan pampers, mandikan dia, bagi dia makan, cara breastfeed dia & macam2 la... Pastu ada jugak cara2 nak buat keja rumah...mcm masak, cuci baju, kemas rumah....Tapi kita nak kena practice dalam susun2 barang, sbb kita ni unorganize sikit.. I am the Little Miss Messy. Heeeee~ So skrg ni tgh belajar untuk jadi lebih kemas & teratur =)

+Nak kurangkan lemak di badan. Nak amalkan gaya hidup sihat. As a Muslim, we should really take care of our well being. We should be aware of what we eat and consume. Bcoz from what we eat, will determine what we will become. So, mulai dari saat ini, tanak main makan sembarang je. Kalau dulu, masa pegi grocery shopping, main amek aje walaupun takde tanda halal. HEhehe.. Tapi skrg ni, nak kurangkan.
Pastu kita dah start alek jogging routine. Baru aje tadi pagi kita buat opening ceremony dia. Naseb baik ada Miss Yunita yg sudi jadi personal trainer kita. HEeeee~ Thank YOU!!!


+Nak refresh, revise & relearn. ok...GO!!!

+Nak save duit banyak2!!! Bukan sebab nak shopping. But i've learnt my previous lesson. Duit banyak2 jadi sikit sebab asek shopping je. So naseb baik skrg ni, my self-control dah reloaded. Kalau tak, pantang nampak benda2 cute sikit, nanti mesti nak beli. Lagipun, kalau banyak duit, nanti boleh bantu orang yang susah. & hopefully kita tidak diuji dengan kesenangan. Macam ada kata2: Lebih baik kita diuji dengan kesusahan dari diuji dengan kesenangan. Sebab bila kita susah, selalunya kita akan sedar. Tapi kalau senang, kita mudah lupa diri. Wallahu'alam.


Ingat ye...Insan yang cemerlang, datangnya dari akal, dengan jiwa yang tenang & hati yang mantap. Selamat beramal =)


And every single thing you ever did that bothered me, is every single thing I miss about you. Ya Allah, jaga dia baik2 ye.

Monday, January 3, 2011

...and yeah, I hurt him again.

Me and my stupid mouth. and not-think-before action.

All these happened bcoz I met him @ a wedding. Then I talked to him, he did replied. Just a short conversation. Then I saw him talking to his friends, very the shiok one. Not a really short conversation. I wish that 'they' were me. I wanna him to talk to me normally. I really really want to have that happy, funny, hilarious + sometimes serious conversation with him.

But I just do not know how to tell him that. Coz we could talk like almost anything in the SMS, but when in came face-to-face, we are speechless. or just a short conversation.

I do not know why. but whatever it is, there is always a reason or some sort of 'hikmah' behind everything that happened.

Behind every mysteries in this world, there lies ALLAH's power.

Kalau dia maafkan aku kali ni, aku agak dia ni mesti bukan manusia. Aku tabik spring betol ar...heeeee~




Shooting Bullets

Yeah it hurts. A lot. Really. An indescribable pain.

Last saturday, while waiting for my bro to check in for his flight @ the airport, my family members (+ my aunty) suddenly asked me about my job-searching-project. I told them that I just received a job offer as an Ustazah @ Cordova. I told them about the job info, with a happy tone in my voice.

But then, my sister said: "Ko amek pscyhology, and end up jadi ustazah? At the first place, kenapa amek psychology?"

Then I said: "Coz Im interested in human. I want to learn about human."

Then my aunty said: "Apply la keje as social worker ke..."

I answered: "Tapi Diah suka ngajar. I dun wanna b a counsellor."

My ibu said: "Apply la NIE. Jadi teacher @ government skool."

I replied: "But I dont like the system. Lagipun ngajar kat skola stress. I know that every job have their own level of stress. Tapi I dun wanna work in government skool."

My aunty asked: "Then how much do they pay you?"

I asnwered: "Hmmm around SGD..... Tak banyak sgt, tapi ok la..."

My aunty said: "They asked you to work for 6 days & paid you like that?! You have a degree tau. Dont underestimate your capabilities. You can get around SGD1800+ if you work at the NON muslim company. "

I anwered: "Ok, I'll try la."

That is how I ended the conversation. My mind is too weak to handle all those bullets. and I did not prepare for it. bcoz I am too happy to get a job. After all those emails of resume, the stupid interviews, I finally get hired. Alhamdulillah.

But now, the happiness has been covered with bullet holes that was shoot to me through peoples' mouth. I do not blame them as they always have the right to express their opinion.

What I do not understand is that why they COULD NOT even be happy with MY DECISION?

Do they think that I did not understand what life is all about?

Do they really know what I want?

Do they think that they know what is the best for me?

I know that they want the best for me and do not want me to suffer. But I want to try. So if I fall, at least I HAVE ALREADY try.

And I also know that all those 'bullets' are just opinions. After all, it is MY LIFE. I am the one who take the step and make the decision. Therefore, I will be responsible for now on. InsyaAllah.

Sunday, January 2, 2011

Takpelah....

I have this typical mindset of 'takpelaaaa'

Apa orang nak buat kat kita, takpelaaaa... yang penting, kita tak buat org. MAybe saya tak betol. Saya kena betolkan diri saya.

ok bye!

Saturday, January 1, 2011

Thank u, Allah

After all these years passed, I am still alive & blessed with so many wonderful people around me. Thank you, Allah... for all the blessings and guidance.

This post is especially dedicated to those who are close and dearest to me.

*My Family - Sometimes I may not know how to express the feeling that I felt. But you guys are my inspiration. Ayah & ibu has been kind and patient with all my nonsense and weird behavior. They have been giving me all kind of advices and tolerate with my rudeness. Sometimes I feel that I am not really a good daughter. but I am TRYING to be one. InsyaAllah.
Kakak is always the one who taught me and shared with me stories, excellent tips and ideas. I have learnt a lot from her without she realizing it. I learnt how to be more patient, calm and strict at the same time.
My little BIG brother. Though we might talk all the time (coz sometimes we are too busy with our own life), but he is always there in my heart. I love him that I want him to grow and learn how to be responsible and good young man. and now, yes... he has grown sooo much. SOmetimes I admired his courage to work as much as he can. Hope all best for you, young man!

*My 3 awesome Girlfrens: The 2 Khadijah(s) and Noneng - We have been friend since the Maahad era. heeee~ And we have gone thru many things together. After the maahad era, we thought that we are going our own ways, but we stick together though we are far apart. Yes, distance has always been a problem for us. Unfortunately, it is NOT a barrier which keep us apart. Sorry distance, I might say that YOU LOSE. Coz our heart are not connected thru distance, but it is connected thru duaa. Like kak Dijah always said: "Kita kan kawan...so mestilah kena saling doa-mendoakan..." =) You girls has been with me thru all my life. Thank you for all the advices and courage that you have shared with me.

*My 3 great superGirls: Bluefairy, Yunita & Fa - I know them during my IIUM era. They are very very nice and will always be there for me. I can share almost anything with them. And they also very the giler-giler, just like me.

*W - He is the one and only my-other-gender-friend. And he has been stick with me for like 4 years together and still counting....insyaAllah. He has been tolerating with my nonsense and emo2 feeling and can also be a great friend to share ideas and thoughts. We do quarrel, then go silent for like a period of time, then I will go back to him again. coz I like him the way he likes me & love him the just the way he loves me too =) I would always want the best for him and whatever that make him happy. If by giving the world would make him happy, then I will give it. (falsampah nah aku ni) Hahahaha

*Ayoosh - She is my 2nd cousin a.k.a my partner in crime. We went thru skool together, then get closer during our tertiary period. She has always been listening to my rants and we will be each other 'back-up' system. hehehe.


There are also many others who has touch my life and help me grow as who I am rite now. When you starts to count your blessings, you will not be able to stop counting it coz it is endless. Therefore, always Count your blessings when you are in difficult times so you know that blessings are much more that hardship.

I am the type of person who do not know how to express my feeling thru talking, therefore I write & act. But some might not understand and they will get the wrong idea. But I dont blame them. After all, we are humans. And we make mistakes. Life is a journey of discovery & learning. Therefore, I am learning to understand you and the other way round. LOVE, RESPECT & TRUST. Those are my principles in every relationship that I have.


Saling doa-mendoakan ye =)

"Ya Allah, aku sayang mereka semua. Lindungilah mereka & sayangilah mereka sepertimana mereka menyayangiku. Limpahkanlah rahmat & kasih sayang Mu ke atas ikatan ini supaya ianya sentiasa mekar & subur. Bimbinglah kami sekiranya kami tersesat & jadikanlah kami di kalangan hamba2Mu yang bersyukur. aku ingin bertemu di syurgaMu nanti. Allahumma Ameen."